Post # 1
I have three “dads”
1.) bio dad- I don’t have a very close relationship with him, he’s sort of a fool, more of a friend than anything. But he’s getting better.
2.) Stepdad- never been close with him, he’s just alwasy been in the background, but he’s good to my mom and bio dad was not
3.) spiritual dad- my farmer boss of 7 years, from high school. He’s been the most meaningful father figure I ever had, he completely helped me turn my life around in highschool and I would not be marrying FI if it was not for the influence he had on my life.
Bio dad is walking me down the aisle.
I was thinking stepdad and spiritual dadl could meet us at the end, on opposite sides, I could hugh step dad, then spiritual dad, who would pass me to FI.
But that seems like ALOT of passing. So now I am thinking of asking spiritual dad to do a reading at the ceremony; his wife, spiritual mom, is also doing a reading.
The bio dad could walk me, pass me to step dad, we can hug or whatever and then step dad passes me to FI.
Would that work better? Any other suggestions? I don’t know if spiritual dad would feel comfortable reading, I still need to run that by him.
Post # 3
hm, that is a tough one. i think that your idea of doing the reading is a great one. even if he isn’t big on public speaking, i am sure it will mean a lot to him, and if you two are really that close, he will be honored and do it despite potentially feeling anxious about it.
Post # 4
I hope so! I’m going to talk to him soon about it, I brought it up to spiritual mom. I’m also going to make sure I give em a shout out in my programs.
Post # 5
I had 2 dads (bio and step and I was extremely close with both. My mom and step dad actually divorced about a year ago, so this situation no longer applies to me. Ever since I was a little girl I had planned to include both father-figures in my wedding. The plan was to have my real dad walk me down the aisle and do my father-daughter dance with my step dad.
Maybe you could do this + the reading for your wedding? Or maybe ask one of your fathers to give a toast at the reception?
Post # 6
Try one dad walking you down the aisle, one dad saying a prayer or doing a reading, and the other dad giving a speech at reception?
Post # 7
I think what I am defintely going to do with Bio and Step fathers is have my Bio walk me down the aisle and then meet and hug Step dad at the end, hug, and he will pass me to FI. I’m not super close with Step dad, so I couldn’t dance with him and feel comfortable, or even have anything to talk about.
Still not sure if Spiritual dad would read, his wife said ehhhh, he MIGHT. But I also wouldn’t want to dance with him and Bio dad, but not Step dad. I’m also pretty sure if Spiritual dad did not do a reading, he wouldn’t want to do a toast/prayer/”grace” (we’re not catholic.). He’s got the social anxiety in front of crowds thing!
But keep the idea’s coming, ladies!! I HAVE to figure this out soon!
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2015 - Suncor Fluvarium
Is your mom walking you down the aisle as well?
What about having your bio dad and stepdad BOTH walk to you down the aisle, one on either side?
It is a conundrum, as I have a stepfather and a biological dad, but, I will have my stepdad who has been like a father to be moreso then my biological dad.
Best of luck with the dialemma! Hopefully it will work out to be alright!
Post # 9
Could they meet you at different points in the aisle? Bio dad walks you down a third of the way, passes off to step dad who walks you down some more then passes you off to spiritual dad who finishes the walk and hands you off? Or maybe when the officiant asks who gives permission to ….. all three dad stand up and say we do?
Post # 10
wow! I thought I was the only one out there w a “dad” problem. I have a bio-dad (who is in my life to a point), a ex step-dad( who has been in my life since I was 3, but as I get older not so much) & my moms current husband who she has been married to since I was 13(im about to be 29 in august), we have had our ups & downs & at the moment we are having a big “down” bc he & my mom are in the middle of a separation. So now he & I are not on the greastest terms bc his hatred towards my mom I can see he has towards me now too. So the whole point i’m trying to make…. If a grandparent is still alive… Have him walk you down(thats what I’ve decided to do….well, I decided it when my mom got married for the 3rd time). That way no ones feelings get hurt & you don’t have to make such a difficult choice or make it a ordeal per se with the switching of father to father, ect. Hope I could help ya! Good luck!
Post # 11
My FI’s cousin had her dad and step dad walk her down the isle at the same time (one on each side). It was pretty cute. As far as the spiritual dad, honor him in a special way. Maybe make a toast thanking your family (new and old) and include him in it, or ask him to give a reading… or have him get ordained and marry you.