Post # 1
Im not sure the right place to post this question so hopefully you all can help.
My Fiance and I have a really good friend that we would like to include in our wedding but not as bridesmaid or groomsmen. I’m wondering if there is another way to involve her that isn’t a chore but a way to honor her friendship with us. We both agree she is one of our favorite people.
I would really like to include her in some way.
Post # 3
My SIL had a friend who wasn’t a bridesmaid so they asked her to do a reading during the ceremony. She was also invited to the bachelorette party and other functions. For guys, you could ask them to be ushers during the ceremony but I like the idea of doing a reading or something special like that!
Post # 5
A reading would be the easiest way to include her without making a chore out of the duty. I chose close family that were not a part of the wedding party to do the readings at our church ceremony.
Post # 6
If she is musical, you could ask her to sing or play a special song. Otherwise, a reading is very nice.
I had a dear friend tell me she would be honored if I wore her wedding colors (though a different dress than her BMs) and asked me to sit in the front row with her parents & grandparents. I was also part of the processional – with her mother, Mother-In-Law etc. That was touching.
Post # 7
Reading, sing, or usher/usherette.
Post # 8
Thanks for the advice. We aren’t having a religious ceremony but there is one thing I wouldn’t mind having read during the ceremony. I just don’t know if that is really up her alley.
I was hoping for something more creative for her…. I just cant think of what!
Post # 9
There are several non religious poems and quotes that would be entirely appropriate for a non-religious ceremony.
This topic lists many options http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/secular-readings-post-your-faves
If you think that the item you had in mind might not be you friend’s style because she is religious, and you are not opposed to something with religious overtones, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is pretty popular for weddings. It doesn’t specifically mention God, and it has a nice sentiment:
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Post # 10
I had a good friend that I made AFTER I picked my bridesmaids. She was very special, I just didn’t want anymore bridesmaids. I asked her to be an usherette and she was absolutely THRILLED! So that’s always an option!
Post # 11
Thanks again ladies!
When I said it’s maybe not up her alley I was think just any readying in general.
We won’t have ushers, or if we do it will be Fiance nephews. Also that seems more like a job I don’t want her to feel obligated to do anything but be awsome.
I was hoping there would be some new and different thing that I wasn’t aware of that people could do at weddings to honor a close friend! Lol oh well!
Post # 12
I think a reading is a great idea and plan to do the same!
Post # 13
@SageMustard: Sorry I misunderstood!
In that case, I think that asking her to walk in with your family might be nice. (And to sit with them, if there is room.)
In the south there is a tradition of having women other than just your bridemaids get ready with you, they sort of help you out with little things (like remebering where you left your key for the bridal suite!) too. Although I live in the South now, I am a Yankee gal, so I can’t recall the name given to this honor, but perhaps another bee can help out here. Although these women don’t have a role during the ceremony, they are often listed in the program.
If there are any special elements that you are planning on including as part of your ceremony, perhaps she could be involved in those. (While it might not make sense to have her as part of a unity ceremony, if you were doing the wine box ceremony she could present you both with the bottle of wine, for example.)
If you really can’t figure out a way to honor her that “feels right” – then perhaps a toast during the reception and/or a gift at the rehearsal dinner would be a better fit.
Post # 14
We had my brother and sister in law sign as our witnesses (which is done during the ceremony where I am), my other sister in law sang during the ceremony and my other sister and brother in law did a reading. We also had two friends who were close to us as our ushers.