Post # 1
So I’ve decided on my 2 BMs (childhood friends), and my fiance has decided on 2 GM (his brother and best mate). My fiance only has one brother, so it’s a given that he will be included, but I have one brother and I want to include him as well.
Our cellebrant suggested maybe my brother could do a reading at the ceremony instead of being in the bridal party, but it wouldn’t be the same. My fiance is fine with having my brother as a GM (he’s known him for 4 years and they get along well) but that would mean we have 3 GM and 2BM. Does that matter? I thought maybe my brother’s gf could be another BM, but would this be awkward cause she doesnt know my friends? She lives with my brother and they’ve been together a fair while and I think it’d be a nice thing to include her, but i havent spent all that much time with her.
What would you do? Please help!
Post # 4
@queencharlotte04: Some suggested that but what does an usher actually do?
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
You can have uneven sides for the bridal party, no worries. I wouldn’t ask the GF to be a BM unless you were close to her.
Post # 6
i think asking him to be an usher would be nice.
ushers help people find a spot or hand out programs by the door
Post # 7
@EmmaSheree: I’d put your brother as an usher, or have him do a reading? An usher just basically guides everyone to their seats. It’s completely up to you, but I wouldn’t chuck him in the bridal party – and definitely not have his gf as one of your bridesmaids if you’re not close to her.
I’m lucky in that respect, by brother is walking me down the aisle! 🙂
Post # 8
Why not make him a bridesman? The idea that you can only have attendants of your own gender is very out of date these days. You can have those closest to you, regardless of gender.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t make him an usher, I don’t think it is necessary to designate a person to tell people where to sit. If you want to include him in the wedding party, make him a bridesman or man of honour. I wouldn’t include the girlfriend, you aren’t close friends with her and what if they end their relationship in the future and she is in all your wedding photos?
Is your father walking you down the aisle? If so your brother could walk your mother down the aisle.
Post # 10
If you are close with your brother, it makes sense to include him in the most special way possible, which would be a groomsman. (Think: When he gets married, would you be a bridesmaid?) And having an uneven bridal party honestly does not matter! Don’t feel the need to include someone like your brother’s girlfriend just for numbers sake. Your girls are your girls!!
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Post # 11
I am in the same situation! I wanted my brother to be a groomsman too but have decided to have him as an usher instead since I can’t pick my fiance’s groomsmen for him! 🙂
Post # 12
@EmmaSheree: What’s the problem with him doing a reading? That’s what Kate Middleton’s brother did. (And the other way around, what I did at my brother’s wedding). Usher is fine too. He can still be in the family photos. He won’t be all matchy matchy with the groomsmen but I don’t see why he should be.
Otherwise, if you’re going to make your brother a GM, it makes sense to have his partner as a BM. I mean, why leave him partnerless when he has a real life partner who’s practically family? I don’t think the fact that she doesn’t know your friends matters. The BMs don’t need to meet as a group often at all. (In fact really only for the wedding and maybe the hens’ night).
Post # 13
Can’t you just have your brother escort your mother down the aisle?
Or another special woman in the processional? That way he’s in the processional and the program, but not necessarily standing up as a groomsman.
Post # 14
@LALaw: @pixiecat: Apart from the father walking the bride, parents don’t usually (if ever) walk down the aisle in Australian weddings. Of course OP can start a trend if she wants!
Post # 15
My brother is our usher and his gf is my BM but,we went to college together and she is like a sister to me.
Post # 16
I don’t think it really matters if you got 3 GM and 2 BM….I’ve got 3 BM and 7 GM!!!