Post # 1
I’m looking for a bit of advice about how to include friends who are not in the wedding party.
My Fiance picked his two closest and oldest friends to be his groomsman. This summer, another good friend asked him to be a groomsman, and my Fiance put a lot of time and effort into organizing that person’s bachelor party weekend and some other aspects of the reception. Now, that friend, and another non-groomsman-friend, are organizing my FI’s bachelor party, because his two actual groomsman live in other countries and can’t do it.
My Fiance is now feeling like he should ask this other person to be a third groomsman. I’m trying to help him think of other ways of including this person, since I don’t really have a third person I could ask, and anyway it’s getting a bit late to do so (wedding is 2 months away).
One idea was asking this person to help organize the after-party. But is that ‘special’ enough? Or ushering, but that seems a bit weird…if we are to have ushers that aren’t our attendants, wouldn’t we ask our brothers? (We each have one).
I am at a loss and would love to know how other Bees have included special people in the festivities!
Post # 3
He shouldn’t feel obligated to have a third Groomsmen if he doesn’t want one. Even if you decide to go ahead and ask him to be a Groomsmen..you don’t have to ask another lady. I like symmetry, but wouldn’t want to be forced to randomly ask someone.
I have a good friend that is throwing my Bachelorette/Lingerie Party and she isn’t in the Wedding Party. I am just going to give her a special gift like all the ladies who are hosting parties for me. How about he just give him a nice gift and call it a day?
Post # 4
Can you ask him to do a reading?
Post # 5
@Littlerattie: we are asking one of our special people to be the MC.. is that an option?
Post # 6
I think it would be a good idea to have them involved with readings. I think asking them to help organize the reception would be more of a hassle to them than an honor.
Maybe you could ask them to be incharge or the bubbles/flower petals/ rice/ confetti or whatever is thrown/blown at you when you are departing?
Post # 7
I agree that asking someone to help organize things can be more of a hassle, depending on the job and the person asked. So, a reading could work. But also a nice thank-you gift, with a thoughtful card attached, is a great idea.
I ran all of your suggestions by Fiance and he also likes the gift idea, though he will continue thinking about the possibility of a reading. Either way, he’s feeling much better about it now, so thanks for the ideas!!
Post # 8
Glad that we could help. That’s what we’re here for 🙂
Post # 9
What about asking them to be ushers? I think that would be a very nice and appropriate gesture.
Post # 10
I love the idea of the reading!!
Post # 11
We ended up asking the friend and his wife to help organize the after-party. Even though that sounds like more of a hassle than an honor, they are big party people so I think they really enjoyed doing it. It was in their hotel suite and was a pretty awesome after-party.
Also, they did a slideshow/powerpoint for us that was shown during the reception. We didn’t actually ask for that and weren’t originally into the idea, but they’d done one for another couple that was so good, we couldn’t possibly say no when they offered to do one for us. It was amazing, and all the other guests very clearly thought so! The friend’s wife has done short films/multi-media work before, so I think it was probably very rewarding for her just to see how much everyone enjoyed and appreciated her work.
So…yeah, in both cases it was more than a little effort on the part of the friend and his wife, but they seemed to enjoy doing what they did, so it worked out. We haven’t done any thank-you’s yet but are definitely intending to do something special for them.
Post # 12
I think I’m going to get boutineers (spelling) or corsages for the “special people.” I am only having three bridesmaids, but have a group of 6 other girls that are really important to me, plus my sisters…
I know traditionally its considered an honor to give a reading, man the guestbook, or pass out bubbles.. But I’ve done it before, and it feels more like punishment. So I’m sticking to flowers. I’ll also make sure to include them in some professional group shots.
Post # 13
We had readings done by his sibling and my BIL, which weren’t part of our bridal party. Hubby’s little bro was our “head usher” even though we only had one, just so he could get a special title and hand out programs. We also designed MC to a friend. this way everyone has a special party without necessarily being part of the wedding party.