Post # 1
Hi brides to be!
I’m a second generation Chinese Canadian and my fiancee is Caucasian. We’re having a western style wedding and my parents are fine with it- actually my father prefers it. But I feel like it’s becoming “too western”. What are some simple things I can do to balance out the cultures?
My ideas so far: wearing a cheung-sam Chinese style dress at the reception (is it a no-no to have purple, which is our wedding colour)?
Giving out favours of a special collector’s type coin in a lucky red envelope
Having the MC translate some of the speeches into Cantonese
I should also add we’re not doing a tea ceremony, my mom thinks it’s unnecessary…
Please share your ideas, it would really help me out 🙂
Post # 3
- Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo
Double happiness characters on decors/favors/stationary/etc?
I’m second generation as well, and sorry (but not terribly sorry) to say we pretty much didn’t have anything Chinese about our wedding.. luckily my parents were also okay with it.
Post # 4
I really hope I don’t come off ignorant since I am not too familiar with chinese culture customs but maybe you could incorporate something in the centrepieces if they aren’t flowers, or maybe in your table numbers you could name them after popular cities/towns or have pictures that represent your culture. I had an old roommate of mine give my fiance and I chop sticks in a pretty pouch so that could be a favour idea. What about some type of lantern incorporated or some type of fans or umbrellas instead of flower bouquets for you and the bridesmaids (again I’m sorry if that sounds stereotypical/ignorant etc) I’m just trying to think of ideas that come to mind when I think of Chinese Culture I have seen on tv etc. I’ve seen some people do home made fortune cookies as their favor as well. Hope some of these ideas give you some sort of inspirtation to make you feel more comfortable with incorporating more culture into your special day. Good luck with everything!!
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
@almondize: Generally speaking, no purple, black nor blue for a bridal cheongsam — these are mourning colours. Gold/yellow, pink and red are the most acceptable colours. I’m not sure if a thread I started on bridal cheongsam would help you with finding what you want. (http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/to-go-traditional-or-to-go-modern-with-a-red-cheongsam-pictures-heavy)
However, my mother is hell-bent on having a tea ceremony. I’m happy to oblige out of respect and excitement to follow this custom. My fiance is Caucasian as well, but he’s not going to wear the traditional garb, hah.
There are other things you could do…. I remember as a kid, we would jump on the bridal bed grabbing candies. This is supposed to bring good luck to the couple, so that they can have healthy kids.
Then, there are also really cute traditional hair pieces you can incorporate.. or pinwheel fans as accessories for yourself and/or your bridal party. (I’m pretty sure you can get away with having Chinese pinwheel fans in purple)
I’m incorporating nylon parasols for my flower girls and my maid of honour. They’re gold in colour. (We’re having an outdoor wedding)
I will have to budget for “red packet money” to give to our bridal party and/or anyone who helped with the wedding. It’s customary for Chinese to “receive and return”. (ETA: 有来有去)
I wish my parents were as cool as yours. I really don’t want to shop for another dress… lol.
ETA: During the reception, you could do the toast that goes YAAAAAAAAAAAM-SENG! This is usually a lot of fun at weddings as guests would get competitive to see who can hold the longest YAM. (Drink in Cantonese)
Post # 6
I’m Cantonese (my mom is from Hong Kong, my dad is 2nd generation Chinese), so I guess I’m 3rd? But I’m marrying a Caucasian too.
We’re having an American wedding and then I’ll be wearing a Cheung Sam. But also, my mom is throwing a Chinese banquet the week after, because she just wanted everything. Sighhh.
Post # 7
@Mez03: No not ignorant at all! A Korean friend of mine gave out chopsticks as favours. I started looking into lanterns and here there just isn’t enough variety- there are lots of circle shaped lanterns but nothing square shaped that could sit on a table. And I’m very picky.
I just spent tons of time looking for a florist who could fit into the budget- so don’t want to give up the floral arrangement. But maybe I could find some kind of sticker which the happiness character to apply to the side of the vase.
I was thinking about doing the table numbers in arabic and chinese characters using chinese calligraphy.
Thanks for your ideas everyone! It’s so nice to see this comraderie between brides to be, both future and past! Even acquiantances have been so helpful so far!
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
@almondize: Ooooh, I saw a really nice purple cheongsam on a Singaporean couture website. It’s looks like it’s burgundy red with purple accents. It would be gorgeous for reception wear!
Post # 9
Perhaps in the red pocket envelopes you could put in cold chocolate coin instead of real money, which is what we usually do on chinese new year.
Post # 10
What about the door games???! Do the door games! Have Lion Dancers!!! And change your dress billion times lol.
Post # 10
almondize: Since your wedding was earlier this summer, how did everything unfold? I, too, am Chinese Canadian and will marry a Caucasian. Our wedding will be western style and we’ll have a Chinese tea ceremony the day before for family and close relatives. The only other Chinese element is perhaps a lion dance performance at the reception.
Post # 11
Lapetitemaimai: I just wanted to say your wedding sounds like how mine is unfolding, lol. I’m using the rehersal dinner (at a chinese restaurant) for the tea ceremony w/ close family and wedding party. The next day is a completely Western wedding.