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Are you having invitations mailed? If so, perhaps you could put at the bottom in a font a bit smaller than the rest:
*Per the bride's request...no lingerie please.
Or something of that nature. But in all honesty, all of the showers I've ever been to, lingerie really wasn't popular...nor gift cards to VS. Maybe one piece was given as gift but that was really it.
Ughh I don't want any either. I'll pick it out myself THANK YOU. I'm going to think about doing this as well!
I'm with the other ladies - I have NEVER heard of this being a popular shower present. Showers are for registry gifts. If someone was to get lingerie, it is typically given at a bachelorette party. I wouldn't worry about it. If for some reason, this is normal with your family/ friends to give, you could put on the invitation where you are registered (albeit, this is quite crass to do).
I've never heard of gifts at the bachelorette party (just a lot of drinking, thank god), so I guess I'm safe!
Also, I'd never presume to purchase lingerie for someone else. ::shiver::
Actually, lingere is a common shower gift in some circles. My mom (and apparently most of her friends) prefer to give "personal gifts" at showers--not necessarily lingere (though it could be), but sometimes pjs or other things that are for the bride, and not so much gifts for the house. My mom seemed to think I was crazy when I suggested we get a registry gift for a shower we were attending together once.
Sorry, no advice on the problem, just wanted to say I know where you're coming from
Thank you for knowing what I mean (and for the other ladies' contributions/POVs)! It's not the same everywhere and in every circle, and guests aren't required or bound to buy only registry gifts for the shower. That's my concern!
Have you talked to your mother or MOH about just telling people when they RSVP? Instead of women mailing in a yes or no, make sure they have to call and let the person responsible for setting up the party let the guests know that lingerie wouldn't be an appropriate choice for this shower. A lot of people would probably be asking questions then anyway.
I would talk to the host of the shower and let them know you don't want those type items. Have them do a theme shower. There are stock the bar showers, kitchen showers, pantry showers, around the clock, his and hers. Have them title the shower on the invitations so that people know what type of gifts to bring.
The Stock the bar people get you your wine glasses, martini glasses etc. or bring a nice bottle of wine to "stock" your bar.
The kitchen shower- people bring you kitchen gadgets, receipes, etc.
The pantry shower- they bring you pantry items, food and shelving items
The around the clock- each guest is given a time of the day to bring an item. For instance one guest gets 7am. They would bring a coffee maker. Or 7pm they would bring something for cooking dinner
His and hers- Couples shower and thus people bring items that are for him or her. Such as tools for the garage or kitchen gadgets.
If you really have a concern that people will do this, only you will know for sure since you know them - I think Vintage2010's idea is great. There are invitations that match this and this would ensure (in a tasteful way) that you don't receive lingerie.
I guess different strokes for different folks. My mother and female family members would NEVER give anything other than a registry gift at a shower, but that is our family tradition and how our friends think as well. So I think only you know for sure if this really will be an issue.
I've heard of lingerie showers, but it's unusual for what I know to get lingerie otherwise. I think you will have to rely on word of mouth for this one.
the last two showers (included my own) the bride got lingerie! my friend's mom bought her some, and my fmil was nice enough to give me mine, but it was actually super cute and has now saved me money and a shopping trip so i'm ok with it.
i agree with making it a themed shower, that could be a good way to steer people away from that kind of gift (although if it's a gift certificate you could always get a cute pair of pajama pants or some lotions). i went to a shower once that gave everyone a different part of the house... linen closet, bathroom, bedroom. just be careful who you give the bedroom to!
I went to a shower and on the bottom of the invitation was this:
"Sarah is registered at Macy's and Target. Please bring a gift appropriate for a new housewife setting up a house." I'm not sure if that was exact but something along those lines.
All showers I have been to, lingerie was given as a gift except this one. Yes, and themed showers can help with this. The theme for the above one was 50's housewife. For my sister's we went with "time" and I gave everyone a "time" themed present to bring. For those that you assign bedroom time, you can tell them no lingerie please.
Haha! That is a funny thing to think about-right in the middle of an intimately *naughty* moment and, "oh, you like this? Thanks! Your sister bought it for me as a shower gift! I never even considered crotchless before!"
Haha love it. It'd me more like "Mrs. Pettigrew got me this. Remember her? She and Mom play tennis." See how awkward it is?!
I get my friends buying it for me, which they probably wouldn't do, but other guests make me laugh. They can get whatever they want, I don't judge, but that's just funny.
One would think that anyone who knows you and has seen your figure would never try to pick out such a personal item for a shower gift. Of course, not all people are observant, so I think it would be acceptable to put such a request in a small font on the invitation. Crass or not, most people seem to be including registry information to be helpful, so I don't see why it would be unacceptable to include suggestions of what not to get.
I like stephinPA's suggestion to write an addendum at the bottom of the invites. I would be even more specific though, just in case someone interprets that loosely and still gets you the Fredericks/VS gift card.
*Per the bride's request, no lingerie or lingerie related gifts please
If you're worried about it, you probably have good intuition, so if the invites didn't go out already, I would put it on there!
I've heard of it as a common bachelorette party gift but not as a wedding shower/bridal shower gift.
I agree that if you had your MOH put it on the bridal shower invites it would be fine and everyone would be very understanding :)
Oh yes, in my area people give lingerie at showers (on the naughtier side of possible lingerie options). A few friends have horror stories of usually very religious great Aunt so and so gifting them with a sparkly thong. I also agree that the themed or room-n-house showers usually greatly eliminate this problem. I went to one with a countries around the world and a backyard theme and neither one included lingerie.
I haven't seen a lot of people give "personal gifts" at a bridal shower. My group of friends always does the personal shower as part of the bachlorette party. The people who are going to come to the bachlorette party are more than likely your close friends...let the MOH and other bridesmaids spread the word that you do not want lingerie and maybe they could suggest something else. Good luck! =)
Because FH and I love books Im having a book shower - asking that people give books that have inspired/helpful or they just love! with a chance for them to write a note inside the book.
because I have everything i really need as the house is already set up. and this completely will avoid lingere... Im a bit conservative and I just dont like the idea of it, and it has always been awkward at other showers.
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I know that's a pretty traditional bridal shower gift-- one I do not want! I have pretty good reasons: I wear impossible sizes--and I honestly don't want a whole bunch of (a) lingerie that doesn't fit or (b) gift cards to Victoria's Secret (or other places) that don't carry my size, and would therefore be useless (utterly).
I've indicated this to my mom and MOH, who completely agree that well meaning guests just shouldn't bother. Would the best thing be just to hope they ask mom or MOH for sizes, etc., and then at that point have the word spread?
I'm sure I'm worrying about nothing. I just can't wait to get some cute tiny 34C bustier to hold up to my 34H's... haha