How to interact with new mom co-worker?

posted 3 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You could try bringing up other topics that aren’t baby-related, but I think this may just be a thing that you have to wait out. She’s probably been cooped up at home with her baby for the last 12 weeks, so of course he/she is the main thing on her mind. She’ll probably talk more about other things as she gets settled back in at work.

Post # 4
Hostess
22135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t have a ton of advice here but my initial thought was that if she is JUST back from maternity leave, she is probably missing her baby like crazy. She probably doesn’t mean to talk only about him, but she’s just been in total mommy mode since he’s been born and hasn’t quite moved back into work mode during the workday yet.

I know it’s hard when you can’t really relate (and don’t want to hear about baby’s leakages at work), but I’d hope that as she gets more settled, she finds a way to balance her work side and her new mom side. In the meantime, see if there are any other topics you can bring up. What did you used to talk about with her?

Post # 5
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mgol25:  Like PPs said she’s probably just missing her baby and isn’t quite back in work mode yet. Bring up conversation topics that you used to talk about and if she starts talking about her baby when you’re trying to colaborate on a work thing maybe say something like ‘I’m so pleased that Ben is sitting now, what a clever boy! But we really need to take care of this poltergeist, so why don’t you tell me all about it later?’. 

If she starts talking about something you do NOT want to know about, like the contents of the baby’s diaper, then just say ‘Ew Tina, TMI!’ in a joking way. 

This is something that will die down eventually and you’re probably just going to have to listen to more baby talk than you’d like in the meantime. 

ETA: I’m a mom myself and one question that never ceases to get the conversation off babies is the question ‘So how are YOU doing?’. 

Post # 6
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@bunnymama:  +1

 

Also, if you guys are friendly, invite her out to lunch.  You have to remember the only socializing she probably gets is at work.  It might be good for her to be out amongst the people and discuss current events and other aspects of life.  

I’m a SAHM and I can’t imagine how hard it must be to leave your child at home, even if you love your career, I imagine there’s some level of mommy guilt (like with most parenting decisions!)  

Does she have a desk/office?  Maybe encourage her to bring some new pics of the baby in cute frames to show off.  It might sound counterproductive, but as others said, she probably just really misses her baby.  Perhaps it would help feel close?

Post # 8
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Carlasgettingmarried:  +1

Definitely ask how she’s doing.  I think so many people ask about the baby and no one even stops to ask how the parents are doing/feeling.  It might do her a world of good to just say “I really miss the baby” or “Gosh! I’m exhausted”.  It’s always nice for people to feel someone notices them.

Post # 10
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@stuckinwonderland:  Yeah, when I had my twins I was so exhausted and overwhelmed sometimes it was nice when people asked about me and reminded me that I was a person outside of my offspring. If the OP’s coworker is not totally self-centered then she should also ask how the OP is doing in response too, which would start a conversation. 

Post # 11
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I agree with PPs.  She is probably going through a lot.  My MOH had her baby in Oct. and is always talking about her baby.  I LOVE her adorable daughter, but sometimes, I do wish we could talk about other things.  I know, however, that it’s because she is coming to terms with the fact that she has to go back to work in September.  I say cut her a bit of slack, see this as a form of venting, and know that in time, it will slow down as she has other things (like work) to worry about.  She will eventually realize that this is all she speaks about, and will tone it down.

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