(Closed) How to invite a friend who didn’t invite me to her wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It sounds like she wants an invite. I think if she didn’t want one, she would have been like “if this is an invitation please don’t send me one”  Just say yep it’s something special what’s your address. Send it, and then it’s up to her.

Post # 4
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Well, if you’d like you can avoid the question, or just say “Yep, I’m sending you something special!” and leave it at that.

Also, be aware that if you’re having a religious ceremony in a church she may not be able to attend due to her religious beliefs.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i think you are totally over thinking this. just send her the STD/invite. either she will come or she wont come. sounds like yall are still good friends even though you dont see each other often (i actually have a friend exactly like the one you described. she got married off on her own and didnt tell me until she came back, but she was just my bridesmaid in my wedding)

seriously if you want to tell her what its for, go ahead, i would just say “im sending you something!” and leave it at that.

im also guessing with your wedding planning its already a no brainer that you asked for her address. most people assume that when you do that they are getting an invite.

Post # 6
Member
442 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Send her the invite. I think your gf would love to come to your wedding. If she declines oh well at least she knows you thought about her

Post # 7
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@MissHelen: good point on the religious ceremony…

Post # 8
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’d just respond with something along the lines of “you’ll see :)” and then send the save the date to her. Then she can decide for herself if she should come, and hopefully she will. I am inviting a friend who didn’t invite me to her wedding; we were best friends in high school and had a very regrettable falling out when I went away to college (she stayed home). She married her high school boyfriend right after college and I was the only one of our friends not invited, which was super painful at the time. We’ve since somewhat restored our friendship–definitely not best friends but I see her a few times a year and we have the same circle of friends from home. I decided I will send an invite to her and her husband and let them make the decision whether or not to come. If she feels awkward about it, she can just decline and make up an excuse.

Post # 9
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

It seems like the way you see it is that if you invite her, she’ll feel awkward and if you don’t invite her, she’ll think it’s because she didn’t invite you… Thinking that way, either way you lose.

I don’t see it this way. I think, if you want her at your wedding, you send her the save the date and invite later on. She will comment on them, for sure, then it will give you an opportunity to tell her it would mean a lot to you if she could come.

Post # 10
Member
660 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just go ahead and send it. Sounds like you’re good friends and who knows the many reasons she didn’t invite you (religious, limited space, family only wedding whatever). Sounds like you want her there & she’d like to be there, perfect!

Post # 11
Member
759 posts
Busy bee

I think you’re reading waaaay too much into it.  She seem’s genuinely happy for you so I think she would be happy to get an invite.  I wouldn’t tell her what you are mailing to her.  However  if she finally drags it out of you then I would simply tell her that you would love for her to attend your wedding and how awesome it will be to finally meet her husband and to see her again after all these years.   Simple as that. 

I don’t think she would feel bad, she had her reasons for not iniviting you and I’m sure they weren’t personal if you two are still friends after all these years.

Post # 13
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Don;t think too much about it.  Just send her the save the date.

Post # 14
Member
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

agreed – just mail it.  if she comes it’ll be fun. if she doesn’t oh well.

Post # 15
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am inviting a few people that didnt invite me to their wedding…but I am still inviting to mine. I still want them to share my special day with me…so thats that. I guess I just dont hold that against people…especially knowing budget issues etc. so go ahead and send her an invite…the worse that can happen is that she declines!

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