How to invite Aunt who Divorced Uncle?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is awkward.  You can not invite uncle withou his wife.  Who is paying for wedding — if one of your parents (especially if the parent is brother or sister of the uncle), you should talk to the parent too.

Post # 4
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I just recently went through a similar situation – just different relations. DH’s brother divorced his wife shortly before the wedding – his ex-wife and I were close and hung out just the two of us quite frequently. I really wanted to invite her to the wedding, but ended up only having her at the ceremony (her daughter was our flower girl). It was honestly just easier that way. As much as I wanted her a part of everything, the drama it would have caused with my DH’s family just wasn’t something I (and the ex-wife as well) wanted to deal with.

I would talk to her, tell her you’d like her there, and see how she feels about it. She might not be comfortable being there. And I do think you should talk to your parents/uncle as well – you don’t want any drama happening or people feeling the awkward situation….

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You should talk to aunt in private, tell her that uncle and his wife are invited, but you would like her there too.  I think you should give uncle a heads up too.  

Post # 6
Member
3044 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

dewingedpixie:  my dad’s uncle has had several marriages and one of his ex wives gets invited to family reunions still. We call her our half-aunt.  Same side of the family also has a widower who had been married to another aunt when she passed away, he and his new wife are still part of the family.

Post # 7
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

I would just send her an invitation.  If she is seeing someone, get their name and put it on the envelope so her SO is invited.

Post # 8
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Send her her own std and invite, and give her a call in between. You should reconnect with her anyway, even if she chooses not to go to your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’ll be in a similar situation than you.. My uncle re-married and I hate his new wife and she’s only 5 yrs older than me and my uncle is 21 yrs older than me… So I understand your dilemma!! But I will always consider his ex-wife my aunt no matter what, I still visit her every summer, so I do want to invite her too…

doeydo:  I’m not sure I would invite the new SO… Honestly it could be awkward with the uncle there and especially if OP doesn’t know him… It’s so hard to tell what to do in that situation!!

Post # 10
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

Well, it is super rude to split up a couple.  They are a social unit.  I am sure everyone can act civil and like adults for the wedding day.

Post # 12
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

doeydo:  I think I’d just not invite both to not get drama at the wedding itself then… and to have someone I don’t know at all at my wedding would be weird?? and could be hurtful to my uncle… but anyways, I still don’t know what I’ll do honestly and I’m curious to see all the answers here too!!

Post # 13
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

If you have not spoken to her in all this time, why not call her up and chat with her? She was one of your favorite aunts. You can tell her you are getting married and let the conversation progress from there. 

Alternatively, just send her her own STD and treat her like any other guest. Obviously don’t seat her right next to her ex-husband at dinner, but she probably would love to see you get married. 

Post # 14
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

dewingedpixie:  my DH and I had the same situation. His uncle by blood had divorced his aunt a few years ago. My DH still visits her for holidays so we invited her along with her plus one to the wedding. We had his uncle and his new wife also in attendance. Everybody was grow up about the situation and understood that she was an important person in my DH’s life. Just because they got divorced didn’t mean she stopped being his  family. 

Post # 15
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee

dewingedpixie:  Send her an invite.  I have a similar situation with my aunt divorcing my blood uncle who got remarried.  I am still inviting her as she has been invited to all holidays and stuff ever since.  You can always send her an invite and she may not send anything back, that’s her choice but does an extra few bucks to send her the invite really matter?

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