Post # 1
Hello dear bees.
We have finally set a date for our wedding and are currently working on a guestlist.
Among our friends and family, we would like to invite three particular guys who FI doesn’t really keep in touch with anymore but who were really good friends of FI’s a few years ago. The thing is, I am completely against having these guys’ girlfriends at my wedding. These girls are extremely unpleasant individuals, always bringing people down, gossiping about everyone, and just have an extremely negative energy. I am not comfortable around these girls, and I do NOT like them.
I am facing a dilemma. I want these guys to be at our wedding because it would mean a lot to FI. But I do NOT want these girls on our specia Day. I don’t want to pretend to be happy to see them, there have been too many instances which made me realize that I do NOT want to have anything to do with these girls.
FI doesn’t like these girls either, and doesn’t want them to come to the wedding.
What are we to do? How do we invite these three guys, who have been with these girls for a few years (one couple is engaged). How do we invite them without their girlfriends??
Post # 3
You can invite them without guests but be prepared for a backlash, especially from the guy who is engaged.
Post # 4
@LucyDiamond: The short answer is that you don’t- unless you are also witholding plus ones from anyone else who is not married.
How would you feel if your fiance or boyfriend (before you were engaged) was invited to a wedding without you?
Post # 5
Just don’t invite the guys at all. Your FI isn’t close to them now so it’s better to just not invite them than invite them without their gfs and deal with that drama. There’s no nice way to do that.
Post # 6
@LucyDiamond: Invite them and sit them (and their partners) at a back table so you don’t have to worry about them. Or don’t invite the guys at all, on the basis that their choice of gfs says something about the sort of men they have become.
But I agree with PPs that you can’t really invite them without their partners, if you’re inviting partners of other guests. (Well you can, but the guys will probably get offended when they find out other partners are invited).
Post # 7
@LucyDiamond: Don’t invite the guys, period. Doing so invites more trouble than it does good. Why put yourselves in the position of having to deal with their negative girlfriends, and the guys themselves, that he’s no longer close with anyhow? You and FI need to give yourselves a break and not invite them at all.
Post # 8
I would just not invite the guys if you don’t want to invite the girls.
Post # 10
@LucyDiamond: dont invite them
If he doesnt keep in touch with them then they shouldnt be invited. They were close a few years ago. Key phrase
If people are not in your life NOW…then dont invite them
You gotta draw the line somewherr
Post # 11
Either invite them with their SOs or not at all.
You can’t seriously think there’s any acceptable way to invite a man who is engaged without his fiancee. That’s insanity.
Post # 12
There is no polite way to do that.
Post # 13
How many people are going to be at your wedding. Because unless it’s very small then chances are that you will spend very little time with these girls over the course of the day.
Post # 14
See, I see no problem with inviting the guys without the girls. I have been invited to two weddings without my FI, once when we were just dating and once after engagement. It wasn’t a big deal, I had fun at both and didn’t mind him not bring invited, they didn’t know him and I wasn’t close enough with either couple to warrant a plus one. One if the weddings I even had to travel for, I just went with another friend also invited.
Hes my FI, he doesn’t need to go to everything I do. I’d rather be invited alone than not at all.
Post # 15
@LucyDiamond: I would be extremely offened if my SO was invited to a wedding without me, as all of our friends and family know of our relationship. I also know he wouldn’t attend without me, so if you want them to come you should probably just suck it up and invite their SO’s ESPECIALLY the couple that is engaged.
Post # 16
@LucyDiamond: It is rude to split up a social unit (unless they steal from you, are abusive, etc). You cannot invite someone without thier girlfriend or boyfriend (or fiance or husband or wife). If the guys are important, then you invite them with their SO.