How to invite certain guys without their girlfriends?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

You can invite them without guests but be prepared for a backlash, especially from the guy who is engaged. 

Post # 4
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LucyDiamond:  The short answer is that you don’t- unless you are also witholding plus ones from anyone else who is not married.

How would you feel if your fiance or  boyfriend (before you were engaged) was invited to a wedding without you?

Post # 5
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Just don’t invite the guys at all. Your FI isn’t close to them now so it’s better to just not invite them than invite them without their gfs and deal with that drama. There’s no nice way to do that. 

Post # 6
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LucyDiamond:  Invite them and sit them (and their partners) at a back table so you don’t have to worry about them. Or don’t invite the guys at all, on the basis that their choice of gfs says something about the sort of men they have become.

But I agree with PPs that you can’t really invite them without their partners, if you’re inviting partners of other guests. (Well you can, but the guys will probably get offended when they find out other partners are invited).

Post # 7
Member
2055 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@LucyDiamond:  Don’t invite the guys, period. Doing so invites more trouble than it does good. Why put yourselves in the position of having to deal with their negative girlfriends, and the guys themselves, that he’s no longer close with anyhow? You and FI need to give yourselves a break and not invite them at all.

Post # 8
Member
9533 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would just not invite the guys if you don’t want to invite  the girls. 

Post # 10
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@LucyDiamond:  dont invite them 

If he doesnt keep in touch with them then they shouldnt be invited. They were close a few years ago. Key phrase 

If people are not in your life NOW…then dont invite them 

You gotta draw the line somewherr

Post # 11
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

Either invite them with their SOs or not at all.

 

You can’t seriously think there’s any acceptable way to invite a man who is engaged without his fiancee. That’s insanity.

Post # 12
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

There is no polite way to do that.

Post # 13
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

How many people are going to be at your wedding. Because unless it’s very small then chances are that you will spend very little time with these girls over the course of the day. 

Post # 14
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

See, I see no problem with inviting the guys without the girls. I have been invited to two weddings without my FI, once when we were just dating and once after engagement. It wasn’t a big deal, I had fun at both and didn’t mind him not bring invited, they didn’t know him and I wasn’t close enough with either couple to warrant a plus one. One if the weddings I even had to travel for, I just went with another friend also invited. 

Hes my FI, he doesn’t need to go to everything I do. I’d rather be invited alone than not at all. 

Post # 15
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@LucyDiamond:  I would be extremely offened if my SO was invited to a wedding without me, as all of our friends and family know of our relationship. I also know he wouldn’t attend without me, so if you want them to come you should probably just suck it up and invite their SO’s ESPECIALLY the couple that is engaged.

Post # 16
Member
279 posts
Helper bee

@LucyDiamond:  It is rude to split up a social unit (unless they steal from you, are abusive, etc).  You cannot invite someone without thier girlfriend or boyfriend (or fiance or husband or wife). If the guys are important, then you invite them with their SO. 

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