Post # 1
New to the post and my first post.
I know they are many post about should you or should you invite your coworkers. I have been at this job for two years and just got engage the past February.
I have total 10 people in my mostly-male office (5 in my department and 5 in the other dept.) and we all get along really well. I have a personal relationship outside of work with the only two female coworkers. So I feel I have to invite these two coworkers, even though I am not sure if they will attend since coworker#1 will be finishing up her mat leave and coworker#2 has might be starting her mat leave since her and hubby will be ttc around the time of my wedding next year. You would still send the invite?
Other than my two coworkers listed above, there is my direct boss, indirect boss, and another co-worker (this is my dept alone) plus I have two of the five workers from the other department that I get along great. One of them already asked me if they are invited lol
Anyways, the etiquette would be to invite my department plus the two I always talk to, correct?
And if so, do you email them asking for their address and mail the invites to their homes. (I am a quiet/shy person so I would feel weird seeing my boss and pretty much the whole office at my wedding-since I worry what other people think)
Has anyone not invided co-workers and regretted that dicision.
My fiance says I need to invite these 7 plus their SO’s (we are expecting 200 people at our wedding) and I think my insecurites and shyness is getting the best of me.
Sorry for the long post and the bad grammar.
Post # 3
I invited coworkers and managers (mostly managers) to my wedding and it worked out great. I invited enough to make a table so they can talk to each other. I wanted them to have some semblance of privacy, so I did not ask them for addresses/contact information. I hand-delivered the invitations since I did see them every day. I gave them pre-stamped RSVP cards but they all hand-delivered the RSVPs back to me.
I would still give the coworkers with potential maternity leave an invitation because honestly, you never know. I’m currently PG and a control freak, so I personally wouldn’t attend a social event in those first few months but I know other people would be more than happy to have a sitter/relative watch their baby while they attended. Further, just because a couple starts TTC is no guarantees they will get PG immediately.
I work in a male-dominated environment and it was fine having my managers and colleagues there. They had fun chatting amongst themselves. If your managers don’t feel comfortable attending, they will decline. I have a friend who is an attorney and the legal assistant there invited the entire office (including the partners of the firm). Many of the associates went but all of the partners declined but sent a company gift.
I would definitely invite SOs if available. One of my invitees substituted out his +1 with someone else and I didn’t argue with that (even though I know that’s frowned upon). I figured I have to see these people daily so there’s no point in causing drama over one person. My office guests were some of the more enthusiastic guests, which was a pleasant surprise.
Post # 4
@thelittleone: Your SO is wrong. You do not need to invite the other co-workers. (He is right though that if you invite them you should invite their partners).
It is fine to invite no one, it is also to only invite the two you socialise with. Where it gets awkward is when you invite most of the office, because then some people are left out.
I invited only one (who couldn’t come). There were no regrets, no hard feelings, no repercussions. I was in a larger office (about 40 people) but very close knit and lots of us the same age. In fact there were about 5 weddings over a year or two. I wasn’t invited to any others either (even though some co-workers were) and I was ok with that too.
Post # 5
You need to do whatever makes you comfortable. You said you might feel shy so if I were you I would just invite the 2 people (plus partners) you are closest to in your office for the entire day. And if you want everyone else there, just invite them and their partners to the evening.
I have a similar dilemma. I work in an office of 20 (so plus partners it would be around 35). I am only really close to 2 of my co-workers so have invited them to the whole thing and everybody else will get their own invite. I am trying to decide whether to hand deliver the invites to each person at work or if I should send it to their home addresses… I would definitely prefer to fo the later but, as you say, it’s a case of getting everyone’s addresses!
Post # 6
@thelittleone: I would just invite the two with their husbands, not all of them. I invited 3 of my co-workers to my wedding and not the others. I did ask for their mailing address in an email but I gave them the invites in person anyways, and I asked them not to make a big deal of it since I wans’t inviting many people from work 🙂
Post # 7
i do see a few of my coworkers outside of work, but i did not invite any of them.
Post # 8
Thanks bees I guess I just feel overwhelmed because it’s a small office. I am thinking just inviting my department for now but I still have time.