Post # 1
My wedding isn’t till 2016 but everywhere I go people tell my I’m behind on planning. That includes my family and my FI family. They want to know who will be in my wedding party. I’m only having around 250 guest so I think it would be kind of stupid if I had more than 5 bridesmaids. So I have 5 bridesmaids which include 4 of my closest friends and my niece. My maid of honor is my best friend of 2 years. She is my FI cousins girlfriend and our sons are 2 months apart so we are very close. I have two older sisters who were going to be my maid and matron of honor but when I finally got engaged I just didn’t feel like they would meet my expectations the title. So I gave it to my best friend. You could imagine how everyone reacted. Being that I’ve know my bridesmaids since elementary. Another thing was they were going to be godparents in the church part because we are catholic but I decide for other reasons not to get married in church no now I don’t need them. So now I ask my question. How should I involve my sisters in the wedding party? Should I just use them as bridesmaids or what I’m like stressing because they want to know already.
This topic was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by an6rb.
Post # 2
- Wedding: Davis Island Garden Club
I guess it depends how close you are to your sisters. I have been in weddings where a friend was the maid of honor and the sister was a bridesmaid. 250 guest is alot so I think you can have more bridesmaids, I was recently one of 7 briedemaids in two weddings that had 75 guests. I have 150 guests and will have 7 bridemaids.
One thing that bother’s me about this post is that you say you dont think your sisters would meet your expectations of the title. What exactly are your expectations? When selecting your bridal party you should be picking women who have had a great influenece on your life, friends and family who have supported you and your relationship, people you cant imagine not standing by your side on the big day. Yes, their duties include helping with the shower and bach party, but you have several bridesmaids to pitch in and help.
Post # 3
an6rb: I would ask them to be bridesmaids.
I waited to pick my bridal party too, relationships change. As for the amount of people in your party. There’s no standard size, pick who you want and who’s important to you to have by your side.
Post # 4
The amount of bridesmaids has nothing to do with the amount of guests attending the wedding. Just sayin.
Post # 5
an6rb: My sisters freaked when I said I didn’t want a bridal party. To lessen hurt feelings, they are now my bridal party because honestly, it’s not something I cared a ton about either way and I didn’t want to hurt them. Personally, I would always pick family over friends because I’ve seen a big flux of friendships over the years but my sisters will be around to annoy the shit out of me forever. Awww.
Yes, and number of guests has nothing to do with BM’s. Pick a number you can manage and go with it. Key thought here – less BM’s, less drama.
Post # 6
an6rb: I have a close relationship with some of my sisters, but I didn’t have any of them as bridesmaids because it would have caused hurt feelings to the others.
Your sisters could do a reading at the wedding.
Post # 7
While I was planning on trying to work a way to have both mine and FI’s family somehow in the bridal party, he was the one who actually suggested that we should just do our very best friends in the bridal party. We both have big families – numerous sisters/brothers as well as neices and nephews, so he stated to avoid any hurt feelings, since we couldn’t possibly have them all be in the wedding party, that we should just do our very best friends. My daughters will be flower girls and my god son (MOH’s son) will most likely be the ring bearer. At first I felt like we should include more family, but in all honesty, this will really work best to avoid any hurt feelings, as well as out of town guests (most of our family) feeling obligated to buy/do things.
I should add that 99% of our bros/sisters/neices/nephews live out of state, so there then would be the whole logistics of having the majority of the wedding party out of town, etc etc.
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle
I thought about having friends etc as my BM’s and MOH but after my MOH and best friend shunned me i was devistated and im a little hesitant to trust in the longevity of friendships since i am also to be a 2016 bride..
I settled reciently on my two older sisters and my three nieces. The youngest being 16 and my god daughter would be a jnr bridesmaid in place of a flower girl.. So all family on my side and a mix on my grooms side.
Post # 9
This isn’t a direct answer, but I would try hard to resist pressure to speed up your planning. I think the idea that weddings need to take a long time to plan is baloney. We’re getting married in June 2015, for a total of a 13-month engagement (longer than I wanted, but due to family scheduling issues it made sense), and we basically have everything planned already because it’s just not THAT hard. And if you make decisions too soon, you can end up regretting them. Friendships change, relationships with families change, styles change, etc.
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
an6rb: We are not having any of our sisters (no brothers) in our wedding party. We are having my sisters do readings. You do not have to have them in your wedding party unless you really want to. You also have tonnes of time to plan. Really, you don’t have to do much until a year before, except maybe secure a venue.
Post # 11
amoore2: for example one of my sisters is very self centered. She may not know it but everyone around her gets so annoyed. the other sister is not married and she has been a real downer about everything. They both try to make it about me but they really don’t care. My bestfriend just knows exactly what I want and knows how I’m feeling. I am very close to my sisters but when I got engaged I knew I needed my best friend to be by my side.
Post # 12
I was told by many people that for every 50 people you should have 1 bridesmaid. They said you don’t want to have a lot of bridesmaids and not have any guest. I thought it was odd but after like the 5th person I was like maybe it’s true.
I like the idea of not having any family in the wedding. I have a huge family and I know a lot of them are expecting to be in the wedding but I personally don’t want a huge wedding party.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2014 - county fairgrounds
I have 4 bms, 1 is the oldest of the groom’s sisters (the other 3 are friends- I have no siblings) and the groom’s other 3 sisters will read excerpts at the ceremony so that’s another option
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2014 - county fairgrounds
By the time I get married I will have been engaged for 1 year. 1 of my bms has recently dropped out of the wedding (due to other non wedding circumstances) so even with me having mine picked out right after getting engaged things can change so try to hold out until your sure. I’m getting married at the end of September and 2 of my bms are just now ordering their dresses despite my reminding them so you can plan a wedding in a years time no problem, it is possible bc things can all happen at the last minute even with a ton of planning