Post # 1
hello, my name is janie-janie and I am a wedding cryer.
of course I know I’m not alone. the problem is, even watching a wedding on tv makes me cry, it’s ridiculous! I am totally ok with crying just a little bit when I walk down the aisle, but I’m worried that the second my dad takes my arm, it’s going to be full on waterworks. it will not be cute. I have a pale complexion, so my face turns really purple, my eyes bloodshot, and I’ll get big puffy bags under my eyes that might not go away for a while. I might cry so hard that people will think I’m being forced into marriage, LOL!
a friend suggested xanax. would that even work? I heard it calms you down, but you don’t feel out of it or anything.
so bees, any advice? I’m ok with crying just a little bit, but how do I keep it to a minimum?
Post # 3
i wish i had advice for you because i was totally just worrying about this last night. i was actually watchin a soap opera wedding (sonny and brenda on GH!) and was crying. then i realized when i am standing there with FI saying our vows, i am going to totally ruin my makeup and wont be able to see straight because tears will be streaming down my face.
the only times i am able to stop myself from crying when i really need to is take deep breaths and try to tune my mind out a bit. but i dont want to “tune out” during my ceremony. i want to take it all in!
one thing i plan to do is get awesome sleep the night before. i will take benadryl to do this. i find i am much less self-composed when i have a lack of sleep. i wont be taking any other drugs though.
Post # 4
@janie-janie: Good question, I have these worries too! If you are thinking about xanax, I’d recommend getting an Rx and trying it before your big day. I went to a wedding last year and the bride was totally zoned out, catatonic, not her normal personality. I suspect she took something to calm her nerves and I wonder if she even remembers her wedding 🙁
Post # 5
I wouldn’t go with Xanax *lol* You wanna enjoy your wedding day, not be a zombie through it. I’d stay away from medication altogther – the last thing you want is to have an allergic reaction to something and wind up in the ER.
My advice would be to focus – really focus – on something other than crying. For instance, the funniest, happiest moments you’ve had in your life. I’m talking side-busting, laughed till you peed moments… Could be anything, though – Could be celery… Something that’ll distract you from the emotions of the walk 🙂
Post # 6
omg. i need this advice, too.
last weekend i was at a wedding and it was so hard to not make a fool of myself crying!
Post # 7
I would suggest that you steer away from Xanax and medication. It may alter your chemistry more than you expect, especially if you’ve not tried it before, plus consuming any alcohol/champagne/wine that day could really throw you for a loop on top of the meds.
You have plenty of time to do 3 things: deep breathing exercises and picturing your ceremony, and concentrating on concrete, small things. With the breathing, just take 10 deep breaths, imagining red air coming out of you and blue air pooling inside when you inhale. Feel your feet flat on the floor, grounding you to the center of the Earth. This will calm you. Picture your ceremony to the last detail in your mind, putting on your dress, stepping into your shoes, taking your father’s arm, seeing your love waiting for you up ahead, walking down the aisle, saying your vows, and kissing. Replay, in essence “rehearse”, this scene over and over in your head to get used to the routine of it (don’t worry, the real thing will still be magical!) Last, the day of, concentrate on the little things. Tell yourself that your goal is to get from point A to point B and smile. That’s it. When you arrive, you breathe and smile. Simple. The more simple you make it and the more you concentrate on something physical, the more centered and grounded you will be! Good luck!
Post # 8
Combining Xanax and alcohol is a HUGE no no. Talk to a doctor. Don’t just take a pill from a friend. My cousin took xanax and had a terrible allergic reaction.
My goal is to not cry too. I am a huge crier. I decided to walk down the isle to an upbeat song that makes my heart fly. I think that will help me feel more exhilarated than moved.
Post # 9
I plan on crying it up! It is my wedding day!!!
Post # 10
I was worried about this, but our dog took care of it! He was at our ceremony and every time it started to get too serious he’d yelp and it would make everyone laugh haha
Post # 11
I thought I’d be bawling as I walked down the aisle (I’m very much an emotional/wedding crier too), but I was so happy that all I could do was grin like a happy totally in love fool! lol I know it’s not the same for everyone, but I thought I’d give you ladies a bit of hope. 🙂
Post # 12
I am a HUGE crier too!
Something I’ve found that works well for me is I watch a bunch of movies that always make me cry. I just cry my eyes out a few days before I have to do anything or go anywhere.
It may not be much, but it definately helps me out.
Post # 13
I have resigned myself to crying. The best thing to do is mitigate the damage!
1. Have your makeup artist use fake lashes instead of mascara – no mascara running! (Mom probably needs it too!)
2. Give your groom and dad a hankie or kleenex for his pocket to hand you if you start crying.
3. Practice dabbing. Dabbing will keep the makeup intact!
4. If you cry the night before your wedding (i.e. during a rehearsal toast, etc.) go wash your face with ice cold water ASAP! Washing away the tears and applying ice water will prevent the swelling that can occur during the night when you sleep.
5. If you wake up with puffy eyes, dunk your face in a sink full of ice cubes and water for as long as you can stand and then give yourself about 3 hours. I cried the night before my engagement photos, woke up with wonky puffy eyes and was able to have my eyes back to normal by my makeup trial a few hours later.
6. Have your BM hold moisturizer, concealer, powder and Visine in their purse for you. The Visine will pull out the red in your eyes and leave you with shiny bright eyes for your photos. You’ll need a dab of lotion if you wipe your face too much – otherwise your face will get dry and peel-y!
7. Practice just relaxing your face when you cry and just let the tears slip down your face. Like try just letting the tears flow instead of scrunching your face – it actually helps me cry much less if I don’t scrunch my face and it looks actually sorta pretty. Once they roll down your face you can dab your cheeks or chin, instead of constantly wiping at your eyes (less swelling and puffiness that way!)
8. Remind yourself you’re spending a fortune on photos! 🙂
These are all the tips I’m using to try and reduce the crying at my wedding in 2 weeks! Good luck!
Post # 14
I also agree that taking the Xanax route isn’t a good idea when you’ve never had it before. Xanax and alcohol DO NOT mix.
@Ginger123: Whoa, thanks for all the tips! I cry just thinking about walking down the aisle with my dad. He keeps joking that we’ll just have someone follow us around with a mop.
Post # 15
Thanks for t he advice everyone!!
Post # 16
I was sure I’d be a mess… I always cry at other people’s weddings, and then when we were practicing saying our vows I could never get past the first word or two without sobbing. But then on the actual day, like CorgiTales, I really didn’t even remotely cry at all. I was just so happy and calm I did have a glass of wine, I think, but really, I was just happy – not “oh it’s so wonderful and emotional I’m going to cry” happy – just happy.