Post # 1
Hey, Bees! I know a lot of us are using friendors, and due to a recent crappy experience, I just wanted to throw this out there. I know most of us treat our friendors like gold, but this is just a PSA/reminder.
Please feel free to contribute your own experiences/advice!
- Remember they’re just “friend”ors. Sometimes we get caught up in the wedding world, and we start treating everyone around us like they’re specific job in life is to make our wedding easier. Remember that friendors have their own lives and their own jobs and are only trying to help you out of the kindness of their hearts. Remember to treat them appropriately!
- Be tactful. If you feel like you have to screen their work, be very tactful about it. For example, say something like, “Oh, I’d love to see what you’ve done in the past!” versus: “Let me see your portfolio, and then I’ll decide.”
- Commit or cut loose quickly. I designed about seven invites for a friend before she decided to not use my work. That’s a lot of hours put into something that won’t be used. Please, if you’re not going to use a friendor, don’t let them keep working on stuff for you. It’s just rude.
- Always say thank you. Even if you don’t use their work, tell them thank you for any effort they put forth. What they’ve done might not seem like a big deal or a large amount of time to you, but you never know how long it takes to do something.
- Don’t lie to them. For realsies. Aforementioned friend sent a very short e-mail saying she was going to use a pre-made card through VistaPrint because she had already bought a livingsocial coupon through them (yeah, I know you can upload designs, and so did she). The next day, she was gushing about some invites she found on Etsy. Your friends are not idiots or infants, just tell them the truth nicely before they figure it out.
Post # 3
Just wanted someone to reply 🙂 I wish I had friendors 🙁 Anyone wanna be my friendor?
Post # 4
Hey, me too! I have no friends. Or vendors. Or friendors. 🙁
But good tips, jo.lee!
Post # 5
@jo.lee: Very good advice 🙂
@SoontobeMrsA: If I lived closer to you, I would be your friendor 🙂
Post # 6
I have a friendor who is doing my flowers! She gets a huge discount at the flower market but I’m terrified I won’t like how they turn out! She’s also helped me in a dozen other ways and let me use a bunch of things she had in her wedding. I always try to be super thankful, especially since she’s really my mom’s friend not mine.
Post # 7
@noritake22: heck I’d be your friendor just get into YOUR wedding! I’d love to get married there.
@MissMedic: We can be friends!!! I make damn good chocolate lolipops.
Post # 8
@SoontobeMrsA: Aww, you’re so sweet :).
@noritake22: Thanks! I tried, lol.
@kala_way: I’m sure she appreciates you and that you’ve been saying thank you! That goes such a long, long way.
Post # 9
Good PSA. 🙂 Most of our “friendors” are family…familor’s? And the things we are “getting” are mostly family discounts and a cake (which, she is a baker so we aren’t worried), but these are really good tips! I had a friendor-to-be offer to do our e-pics and wedding pics but I don’t like her work so I had to come up with something fast. :/ It was awkward.
Post # 10
This is a good post! My caterers are my FI’s parents. My florist is a friend of FI’s family. My photographer is an acquaintance from a few years back. So far I’ve treated everyone professionally. Most likely because they are all professionals and older than I am… so I don’t feel like I can mistreat them either way. But I’m sure I may have my moments so I need to remember this 🙂
Post # 11
I wish we had a bunch of “friend”ors! I see all of these posts on Indiebride or sometimes here about “budget” weddings, i.e. “We did our wedding for under $3,000!” I get excited and then discover they have art-school friends who are photographers, videographers, huge families who love to cook gourmet food, a best friend who just had to design the invites as a wedding gift, and their FI is part of a band, so he and his groomsmen just got together and sang as the bride walked down the aisle….
That said, our caterer is a family friend who is giving us the family discount on food. Another family friend is supposed to be designing the invites, but she hasn’t returned my last couple of emails… here’s hoping she’s still thinking about us!
Post # 12
@AmeliaBedelia: Aww, I’m sure it was okay with your photographer friend. It’s only really icky when you let them spend hours on stuff and then tell them you don’t like it.
@kperry3: I’m sure you’ll be fine, just remember to say please and thank you :).
@mandi.pitt: Ironically, I don’t have friendors either, I’m only sort of acting like one for a friend (doing makeup, had my invites rejected, lol). I know friendors must be slightly difficult to work with since you can’t just demand crap (or at least you’re not supposed to), but it would be nice to get stuff for free!
Post # 14
@SoontobeMrsA: i want your chocolate lollipop recipe!!!!! i was just planning on trying to make lollipops for the first time.
Post # 15
Thanks for the advice my photographer and dj’s are friendors… =)