(Closed) how to know if someone dosent invite you to his/her wedding without telling you?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
547 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think you could know for sure, but you could casually ask the friend how the wedding planning is going, is it gonna be a big wedding or a small wedding? 

Post # 4
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i guess you would know by how close you are to this person?

Post # 5
Member
3737 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Is this for real?

Post # 6
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Um…when you don’t get an invite?

Post # 7
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

When an invitation does not appear in your mailbox?  What kind of question is this?

Post # 8
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I kind of get it.  One of DH’s cousins from across the country is getting married in the fall.  We’ve been invited to (and gone) to all the other cousins weddings, but the best deals for flights/hotels are definitely found MORE than 6 weeks before the wedding (when it’s proper etiquette to send out formal invites).  I wouldn’t want to leave the planning that late, so we pretty much plan to just ask him.

I think if there’s significant effort to you getting to the wedding, it’s perfectly ok to ask.

If I DIDN’T want to attend, I wouldn’t.  Then you can say, oh sorry, we just can’t swing it with 6 weeks notice if/when the invite arrives 🙂

Post # 11
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@wwbga:  

@oneofthesethings: 

@cmbr: 

Wow, dont flip out lol. I’ve been invited to one wedding where I didnt get an invite. I assumed I wasnt invited and then she was confused when I said I was looking forward to seeing her photos down the road. Turns out she had a 400 person wedding in a old school gym and invites were by word of mouth.

Then also, I’ve had a friend mail me an invite (with out telling me) and it got lost in the mail. I was confused when she texted me asking if I had already mailed back my RSVP.

Things happen. Also it can be confusing if you are close to somebody and you dont get an invite. Its not rude to ask, if you ask correctly (depending on who this person is) …or maybe hint that you are unsure.

Sometimes etiquette just really baffles me… I just can’t imagine flipping out because somebody was wondering if they were invited or not. Better that than they assume there ARE invited.

Post # 12
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@sheepandbear:  I don’t think anyone was flipping out – I just think it’s a really odd question.  As for your examples, the second one makes sense and since you hadn’t RSVP’s, the bride knew to contact you and ask. The first example?  I’ve never heard of a wedding with no invitations.  How were you supposed to know to show up?

Post # 13
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@sheepandbear:  I am not flipping out. Inviting people to weddings isn’t etiquette, it’s common sense, I’m sorry but a 400 person wedding by word of mouth, seriously? Gimme a break! Also, never assume you’re invited. Invite got lost in the mail so she asked why you didn’t RSVP…that is normal! If you don’t hear, you’re not invited, simple.

Post # 14
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@wwbga:  But the thing is, I wasnt able to go to either of those weddings since I found out about them two weeks before their day. I had already scheduled my weekend work by that point so there was nothing I could do. It really sucks and I should have asked in a subtle way. When its somebody you are close to, I dont think its rude to ask in a polite way if you are unsure. Especially if its somebody I’m going to purchase a gift for even if I’m not invited. Do people honestly get offended if asked in a polite way?  If so, that’s ridiculous and I dont understand that mindset.

Post # 15
Member
3737 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@sheepandbear:  If you’re that close to the couple, wouldn’t they bring it up with you? Or notice that you haven’t RSVPed? It’s rude to ask someone if you’re invited to their party. Even if you are close, they may be having a family only wedding. Who knows. It has made me very uncomfortable when people have asked if they’re invited – it puts me in a really uncomfortable situation. 

Post # 16
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@sheepandbear:  I see your point. What I don’t understand is why the couple would wait until 2 weeks before the wedding. That’s surely bad planning by them? If they leave it that late, then yeah, people aren’t going to be able to come. 

The topic ‘how to know if someone dosent invite you to his/her wedding without telling you?’ is closed to new replies.

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