How to laugh about the things that went wrong?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@icetea:  ((Hugs)) I’m so sorry that you were so miserable! You’re right; the most important part is that you’re married to your love and that your familes came together. However, you should definitely give yourself space and time to basically mourn what happened. I mean it’s not like it was a random weekend outing that was ruined by those horrible people; it was your wedding! You planned and worked for months on it. Yeah, it’s going to be tough to let let it go so soon, and that’s okay.  

Would you be open to a renewal next year? Y’all could run away to a fun/romantic destination and have a more relaxed renewal. It won’t magically change what happened, but you can create happier memories of sharing vows.

 

Post # 5
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@icetea:  Oh man, what an unfortunate way for it to kind of overwhelm you. While my day’s disasters weren’t nearly as pervasive as yours, I know the feeling. My MOH was incredibly difficult the whole weekend, and by the morning of the wedding, I just wanted to slap her. It’s kind of terrible, but I have yet to really talk to her again since then because it just brings back all of the stress and anxiety she caused. 

I think that acknowledging your feelings about it will really go a long way in easing them. Also, even though it did cause you to become upset last night, it’s a great idea to use things like your candelabra and whatever else from the wedding to start putting happy memories and energy back into them.

Trust in your husband to do this for you. Maybe if he’s not the planning kind, you can give him some really big hints about what you’d like to do and occassionally ask, in an excited way, about his plans. It’s a great bonding opportunity plus gives him the chance to be the hero!

Post # 6
Member
2368 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d be angry too!  I think sometimes we forget that it’s ok to be pissed off, yell, and just get everything off our chest.  Preferably not in the direction of our SO/fiance/husband. 😉  Seriously, get mad and vent!  And then think about what YOU would like out of a ceremony.  Your fiance’s already said he’d like to a vow renewal, so go for it!  Do something that’s just for you two and create a new memory, one that you’ll look back on happily. 

Post # 7
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@icetea:  Could you go on a really kick ass vow renewal vacation, just you and your husband, at your 6 month or 1 year anniversary — just some place you really love or even a beautiful hotel or inn near you where you can both go and make these promises to each other? It’s so sad all this stuff happened to mess up your wedding. 

If it makes you feel any better, my aunt and uncle had the wedding from Hades. Two days before the wedding her Dad was hospitalized (early on set of lung cancer) and couldn’t make it to the wedding. Earlier that same day, her brother broke her groom’s foot in what was supposed to be a friendly game of groomsmen basketball and so my uncle had to make it through the wedding on crutches and painkillers. But 30 years later, they have one of the strongest marriages I know.

Post # 8
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@icetea:  People are going to tell you that you are silly or that it’s just one day–Get Over It. I’m hear to tell you, stay mad for as long as you need to. While you are angry, make sure to write reviews on as many sites as possible : WeddingWire, Yelp, Google, etc. Spare another bride the pain that you are going through. 

My pain is much less than yours (my flowers were the wrong color), but almost 3 years later, I’m still so pissed that I get fire in my eyes when I talk about it. But as time goes on, you think about it less. And the day means less and less and you build your marriage and create other memeories.

I was watching Doctor Who the other day. Someone ask the Doctor how he deals with all the pain and suffering he’s seen and felt. He said, I put it away in a box. That is how I feel about my wedding pain, I put it away in a little box. It’s still there, but it’s not in my face all the time.

Good Luck, you will get through this!

Post # 10
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@icetea:  Don’t feel bad that you feel bad! Like the other PPs, you have to give it time for mourning. I also know that no matter how many people say ‘you should be happy because at least you married the love of your life’ while that’s really a gem of an advice, it quickly goes out the other ear.

I agree with @KoiKove: write loads of reviews, bad vendors don’t deserve to get business. Don’t forget to write the good reviews too 🙂 

Btw, your husband not looking at you, any chance because he didn’t want to get emotional??? because he’s a man?

And good for you for taking all the punches so that your DH could enjoy the day. That’s really really good, you are a strong person. My DH stepped up in the week prior to the wedding when I crumbled from stress. That’s the stuff of weddings.

 

Post # 11
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@HisMoon:  Sounds like we both had MOH problems! Well mine wasn’t the MOH, but one of the BMs. She was such a pain in the butt for the whole wedding period. I still haven’t spoken to her since I saw her off in the airport before I hopped on my flight to my honeymoon. I too just can’t seem to contact her again because it brings back angry memories.

Post # 12
Member
2326 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@icetea:  Aw, well I can sympathize with you for your husband looking away bc mine looked at the officiant the whole time because he didn’t want to be rude to him! lol! It wasn’t until we said our vows that he finally looked at ME.

I had a ton of stuff go wrong too, I don’t know, you just have to shrug because there’s nothing to do about it now.

It does though sound like the venue was rude to you, that’s pretty bad and really sucks. 🙁

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