How to let a friend know her BF is not invited?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Call her and explain the fact that you’ve reached your limit, there is no space, and when you picked the place he was a non-entity.

Post # 4
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

How long have they been together?

Post # 5
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

If she’s not super-close to you, that’s reason enough to assume her boyfriend would be there. Would you go to a distant friend’s wedding without your SO ? I’m not heavily into etiquette, but I think on this one, you’re in the wrong. It doesn’t matter you guestlist from a year ago. We’re 1.5 year ahead and we’ve planned in case of +1s because my sister is single right now, but maybe in a week she’ll meet a boyfriend, and it wouldn’t make any sense not to invite him. 1 person is not supposed to change the entire capacity of your venue either (and I guess some people will decline anyway).

Post # 6
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Honestly, unless she expressly asked me if he was invited, I would just wait to let the invites go out. She will see that his name is not on it and will (hopefully) get the point. If she does ask, just tell her that because of space and budget limitations, you are unable to invite everybody with a plus one, but hope that she will still be able to make it. Hopefully she won’t press the issue though.

Post # 7
Member
339 posts
Helper bee

Not really sure how you feel about this but i am a fan of the rsvp cards that say:

“We have reserved 1 seat in your honor. ___ yes i accept ___ no decline”

If she isnt really a close friend and you feel uncomfortable having the conversation with her, this will definitely let her know she’s the only one invited.

Post # 8
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@julesbeeb:  This is just my opinion, but I would just figure out a way to allow him to come. I personally hate it when people invite someone and don’t welcome their SO. I understand that she wasn’t dating him when you first planned everything, but things change. I pretty much plan for plus ones for everyone who isn’t already in a relationship when I start planning just in case.

Post # 9
Member
1802 posts
Buzzing bee

I wouldn’t want to attend a wedding of a distant friend without my SO also being invited. I know it may put some extra stress on you, but I would just invite him anyway. Once you get RSVPs back you may not still be at the upper capacity limit.

Post # 10
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Significant others should be invited. 

Post # 11
Member
2057 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

Most people would assume they get a +1. I invited a classmate (I’ve known for 13+ years) and he’s bringing his sister as his +1.

So… there’s always that when you make up a guest list.

Post # 16
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think you should talk to her about it.

Honestly, my friends do not have the best track record with guys. I know it, and they know it. It’s quite comical among us. Only one of my best friends (also my bridesmaid) has a boyfriend that I’ve only met once briefly, and she doesn’t assume he’s invited.

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