@Ryansgirl: I am totally with you! I’m a big people pleaser too and it’s really come out of me for this wedding!! Sometimes it’s good and other times it drives me crazy too.
IMHO about your questions…
-children – it’s something that is a tough subject and was a hard decision for me to make for sure! I feel bad that several of my friends and family w. children may be upset that I am deciding on not having children at the wedding and I haven’t gotten to meet some of their children or seen them in a while (which I’d love to do!) Though for me…we are having an evening wedding at a hotel and to me that’s just not exactly a time/place which is great for children. Also, we are not having any children in the ceremony either nor can we afford the extra cost feed them at the wedding too (I’m doing all I can to invite the adults I am inviting…) as we’re on a budget and paying for just about our whole wedding and honeymoon.
The only way you may be able to ‘get around’ the children thing is if you decide to include certain children in your ceremony – like the flower girl…ring bearer or Jr. groomsman, Jr. Bridesmaid. Otherwise, it’s kind of an ‘all or nothing’ deal.
As for open bar – that’s great if you can afford anything to your guests! 🙂 As for having a cash bar – that’s what you have to do sometimes and it’s okay! 🙂 I’m having a cash bar too. I wish I could afford to pay for some of the tab, but we just can’t. If guests are mad b/c they have to pay for their own drinks…sorry, but that’s their problem! 🙂 😉
As for work people….that’s another thing that sort of should be made like the children decision -all or nothing. Plus, if you don’t invite your direct supervisor (and don’t care for her to boot) then don’t invite her. 🙂 Like the children scenerio, we’re not having anyone from work attend our wedding either.
We had to draw the line somewhere on how to cut down on guests and that’s what we did – no kids and no co-workers. Then we even limited who is allowed a plus 1.
Yes…you do have to stop people pleasing at some point and be happy about it. 😉 I’m still learning that myself.
I am realizing that it IS tough to be okay with family/friends that may be miffed or upset or whatever b/c we aren’t having kids or co-workers or open bar at all at the wedding….and if that’s the case…then unfortunately for them – too bad!
I think I’ve done a lot to try and accommodate my guests, personally, that I made a point to have our wedding AND reception at a hotel so that my guests (esp. those that are OOT) won’t have to travel between locations and it’s easier on them!
Though we can’t afford a beef dish for the meal, I chose chicken and a veggie dish (making a point to offer a vegetarian meal for those guests who are or may want something other than a ‘meat’ dish.) Which to me is being respectful of the guests…
Also, doing all I can to remind my guests of the info. for the wedding by telling them ahead of time about our wedding website where they can find the hotel info. etc. and all the other details for the wedding and whether or not they have computers, I STILL printed out the info. to still include w. the invites!
so..sigh!..haha. You aren’t alone!
Good luck! (huge hugs!)
Hope you find your balance. 😉