(Closed) How to let go of wedding tasks?

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’d definitely stop telling her things, unless they are things you want her help with.  Just tell her that you want the details to be a surprise to her on the day.

Post # 4
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Your mom seems really excited for you. I would be happy for the help, but caution her to check with you before she purchases or does anything. Talk to her about your vision; she may just not be able to get it from your inspiration board. Let her know you appreciate all of your help, but remind her that it is your wedding and there is a certain look you are going for. Also, let her know that she may not see your vision right away, but as things start getting put together, it should be much easier for her to see what you are going for. Maybe figure out a list of stuff you would be willing to let her do with your guidance; be very specific in what you want and make sure you give it to her in writing, so she can refer back to it. Just remember, she is just trying to help and she is also very excited for you.

Post # 5
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ah I know how you feel. My FMIL keeps trying to get me to set a date for her and FSIL to come “help” me with my STDs. I’m a type-A perfectionist as well, so I hear ya!

I would approach your mom proactively. Instead of saying “No” all the time, I would set her a task like, “Mom, I’m searching for these pink-speckled votive candle holders, could you keep an eye out for me? Send me a pic if you find something like these” That way, she feels part of the planning (since it sounds like she’s really excited and wants to be super involved), she gets something to focus on and when she sends along her “find” you can accept or veto it.

I would hold back on some of the details that you want to do yourself and stand your ground if you really don’t like something. It’s hard to let go of the details but in the grand scheme of things, you’ll be happy to have your mom around for them 🙂 

Post # 7
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I had trouble letting go of wedding planning tasks (I still do) because I like to know it’s done when and how I wanted it. However, I’ve learned to let others help if I specify what it is I want them to do. It does take just letting go!

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