How to let your potential bridesmaids know it is ok to decline

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4163 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I would talk to everyone in person, or at least on the phone- I’ve seen too many cases where texts/letters can get misunderstood.

Or if you already feel that it’s going to be too much, why not just make them honorary BMs? If your FI is having a smaller number of GMs, you can use that as a reason.

Post # 4
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I just told my best friend, as I was asking her if she’d like to be my MOH, that I know it’s an expense and a time commitment and I sincerely would not be offended or have hurt feelings if she declined. All you can really do is be open & honest with your friends and trust them to have the courage to decline the offer.

Post # 6
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just ask them in person and let them know there is no pressure.

Post # 7
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee

Maybe ask face to face and say you aren’t going to accept a response now, you want them to have a chance to think over the time and financial issues – and you REALLY understand if they say no – you’d rather they be a guest than put themselves in a difficult position. 

If you really want to make it easy on them … make it “opt in”.  As in, If I haven’t heard that you want to do this by Feb 1, I’ll assume that it won’t work for you, and that saying no is just too difficult of a conversation.  

Post # 9
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would wait awhile to ask anyone…..

May 2015 is a bit away and a lot can change between now and then. 

Give it time and wait and see how your relationships are in about a year…..

i would wait until about 8 months before asking people…….

Post # 11
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@cassiedoonie:  Everyone you are going to ask to be BM will be invited to the wedding, so you should tell all your friends and they can all start saving. Later on, you can figure out who you want to have as BMs and who should simply attend as a guest. 

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