Post # 1
I’m trying to widen my social circle. I really, REALLY need more friends who live near me. Most of my friends live at least two hours away. I miss having them locally, and I feel like there is a big gap in my life.
I’ve been going to a lot of networking events recently both to meet potential professional contacts and to widen my social circle. However, I don’t know how to ask people out as friends without seeming like I want to ask them on a date. In particular, I don’t know how to follow up with people who I really like on first aquaintance, but am unlikely to see again. If I ask them out for a drink or ask for their contact info, does that seem like a date? I’m in a committed relationship, and I really don’t want people to think I’m interested in them in a sexual way. I just want to be their friend! 🙂
Is there any non-weird way to ask someone you just met to do something with you (alone) as a friend? Damn, this stuff was waaaaay easier in college!
Post # 3
Facebook is your friend. Add to Facebook, leave a few comments, like a few posts. Maybe one day you send via private message a link you think they’ll find interesting (on a tv show you both watch or whatever), then one day you say “hey, i was going to see that moie next week! we should go!”
i know it sounds weird and awful but i’ve made lots of new friends in the last couple years and you just have to get over the shyness sometimes
Post # 4
@lawyerchick13: LOL do you want to hang out? I am a grad student in Manhattan, and I need some friends!!!
Post # 5
@bebero: +1, facebook really is your friend!
Post # 6
You’re going to have to be creepy. That’s the only way I get my friends. Just chat up people that look like they’d be your type and if you hit it off ask if they have a facebook.
I like to find unusal things to do, like the zombie walks, to do or watch, weird things at the mall, etc type “events” in your area.
Post # 7
Try playing a sport, or a similar regular contact activity (book club, cooking class etc). Then, you’re seeing them once a week or more regularly, and can build up a genuine rapport with the people you like. Then you can catch up outside of the activity without seeming like you’re coming onto them. And even if you don’t meet anyone you would want to be friends with, you’ll still get some sort of social interaction every week, which is better than nothing.
Post # 8
You can join different groups (age group, gender, interests, career, etc.) and usually people are genuine and sweet at events. Obviously, a hiking group will be more tame than a single & ready to mingle group 🙂
I met a lot of great friends on there! Got sick of everyone I knew and was ready to move on with my life. Most people are either in the same boat or new to the area.
Post # 9
@QueenieB: +1 meetup When I was new into town, I joined several meetup groups with other people looking for friends. It was awkard at first but at least we were all being awkard together. Still have friends to this day that I met from there.
Post # 10
oh, I see you’re in NY!! if I were you then I would sign up for one or two activities that meet weekly. book club, photography lessons, anything that interests you, really.
Post # 11
@lawyerchick13: I met one of my best friends who is also a bridesmaid on craigslist 🙂 i also met another girl friend there, but she moved away(we still keep in touch).
Post # 13
@lawyerchick13: Lots of ways to do this. In the past few years I’ve had to get rid of a lot of friends for life choice reasons and I had to start over. I started right at work. I just looked for happy hours, lunches, and I started saying ‘yes’ to everything.
I am also a member of a group called Toastmasters, they are international. Joining a professional club will help you make professional friends, even if not right away. There are opportunities to help organize and participate in club contests, weekend trips and you will make contacts who will introduce you to other contacts.
There are plenty of groups you can join, even classes at local gyms and make workout friends.
You can also contact people like mary kay consultants, avon ladies, tastefully simple, lia sophia and ask them if they are having a product party. It is a GREAT way to meet people, and because these people want your money, they will be nice to you and make you feel included.
This will not happen overnight!!! I can remember going through my terrible break up years ago and honestly, there were some lonely nights but I just kept putting myself out there and saying ‘yes’ whenever I was asked to do something and you know what, I now have lots of friends. Just don’t get too low during your down times and don’t get frustrated if things do not happen fast.
Post # 14
Following to get some ideas, as I just moved to a new country where I basically only know my husband. You might have some luck with Meet Up (I didn’t as the groups here are very specific in age, race, etc and none ‘fit’ me). I’ve kind of resigned myself to not having any friends that aren’t my husband’s friends.
Post # 15
I met tons of new friends at the gym! I went to the same classes each week and met some great girls! We have all been friends now for 3 years 🙂
Post # 16
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
Meetup.com was total fail for me. I’m an attractive, young woman. Men were hitting on me left and right. No one wanted to just be my friend. They only wanted to get in my pants. Maybe OP will have a different experience, but I just wanted to throw this in here to give my perspective.