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Why would you make him go to the doctor unless he had a sexual dysfunction issue? Having a lower sex drive than you--and going at it twice a week--isn't really an issue as far as I know. You're just a horn dog :) . I don't think it's not making him more excited, I think you just have to initiate more. If he has the lower sex drive, you can't expect him to initiate more.
@ejs4y8: the only reason I mentioned the thing about the doctor is because I've been told before that I should have him get his testosterone levels checked as that could be the problem.
ETA: I won't deny I'm a horn-dog lol! I do initiate most of the time but I feel like our roles are reversed sometimes lol.
He's obviously turned on by you and you have sex frequently, so I am just surprised it would be his issue, that's all. I would think sex on a less frequent basis would make me think he's dealing with lowered hormones.
So what do you want? more than twice a week? twice a week? Just jump his bones more. He drops everything when you're naked, so just...give him visual stimulation more =].
Distance grows temporary. Just work to close the gap if you aren't okay with it!
I guess i'd be concerned with his levels if he still weren't turned on...
eta: maybe you should get your levels checked since you're all off the charts, LOL! Some women have higher sex drives, not very frequently, but it happens!
Ditto the PP's about jumping him ;)
I've also got a *ahem* high sex drive. My FI is forever teasing me about "not wearing me out" LOL!
As for the twice a week thing, I know plenty of guys who enjoy it MORE than twice a week. Many are in their mid-30's to 40's. (many are friends and, well, we enjoy joking about stuff like that and I usually end up hearing the general details about it from a)facebook innuendos, b)they typically tell my FI who tells me, c)chats with other girls or d)the guys themselves in round-about-ways... sometimes not so round-about. I know, I have really weird friends...)
If you think there's a problem, google google google! Also, talk to your FI about it. Not a "you need to do this" but a "I'm worried about you!" type way. IF that makes any sense! (I tend to be confusing when it's late and I'm trying to stay awake until ungodly hours).
I completely understand what you ladies are saying. I guess I thought that, generally speaking, people had sex more than two times a week. But, I could be completely misled. Anywho, I do jump his bones a lot. I'm not afraid to take off my clothes when we are alone but this doesn't mean we are going to have sex.
And I'm giggling a little about my hormones and maybe going to the dr. You are right, I do have high levels.
@SweetRose2011: Can I have some please?! I wish my drive was higher. :-(
That said, I was just talking to my friend tonight who is having similar problems, which are compounded by pregnancy. She feels like she's always initiating and is feeling unattractive. I recommended WB to her. You ladies are awesome.
@caitlanc: Mine too! I LOVE sex...love love LOVE it. But sometimes I'm just not in the mood. Blegh...it's been less rather than more lately. Maybe I need to see a doctor, myself. Eesh.
Seriously. Sex should be the opposite of frustrating!
@caitlanc: oh I know it shouldn't be frustrating. I'm just thinking about all of us talking about our needs and trying to get them across to each other and everything. Why can't we both want it at the same time every time? lol
DH and I hardly get to! Twice a week would be awesome! But I am just switching back to evenings. Before I was getting off work when he was starting, so I never saw him. Now, I plan to remedy that. = )
@SweetRose2011: Oh, totally! I meant that in a "I'm frustrated that this takes so much effort" sort of tone. That said, I totally find our sex life - or rather the way they don't line up - frustrating sometimes.
@caitlanc: I know, seriously. I just wish sex drives could be like periods. When you live together they happen around the same time. (unless you have roommates because that would be weird)
i have gone through this with my FI more.
in his mind, it is pretty sexy when i am the one who initiates. this just does mean telling him that i want it, but being aggressive and making all the first moves. he makes the first moves most of the time, but gets way more turned one when i am the aggressor. if i had it my way, we would have sex every single day. he also has a lower sex drive. but he has taught me that if i am horny and he is not, one of the only ways to get him in the mood is initiate, initiate, initiate.
He may have just... already gotten sort of over it. You're still new to the game, its possible he's just not as into it. I'd try a bunch of crazy shit! (Btw I'm in the same position) Try different porn. See what he likes.
@SweetRose2011: I totally feel you. I have an insane sex drive, FI does too but I still find myself wanting it more than he does. I'll usually throw myself at him and that really turns him on. Sometimes I'll go to bed with clothes on and take them off during the night, that pretty much always guarantees morning sex. Buying new lingerie and surprising him works too. We have sex pretty often though....at least 3-4 times a week and sometimes multiple times in a day. I'd say about half of those are me initating and him unable to resist. ;)
Glad to see I'm not the only person going through this. J and I are in the same situation. I have an insanzy sex drive. He can totally go without it more than I can. But I know he's still attracted to me and also gapes when I walk around naked. I just wish that things were the way they used to be. He knows how I feel about it and has been trying more often than not. It's been quite fun. :P so, just hang in there. I think guys get worn out too easily. Or we're really that big of horn dogs. Possibly both. You can always e-mail me if you'd like to talk about this more in private. I totally understand.
You need to REALLY step up the slut factor. Hope I'm not offending anyone, but men love that. Put some heels on and nothing else and some makeup and just walk around and wait for him to pounce on you. Bend over in front of him naked, etc..
Or make up "dreams" you had that involved a 3some or anal sex. Trust me, it'll get his blood pumping lol
My husband's sex drive is low these days too. He's working 12-13 hour days and I'm only working part time. He's very stressed about money. I mean we're doing alright but we could be doing much better if I found work. So I've been laying off him and giving him back scratches and sturff. We only have it like once a week maybe. We go through phases and are usually on the same page. We won't have it for a few weeks and then we'll both be really horny one weekend and do it like 5-7 times in 2 days.
if he's not interested/has a lower drive, what's stopping him from lending you a 'helping hand' ? you never know, that could pique his interest.
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I've been with my Fi for 2.5 years and he's my first. I love him to death and he's reallly good at sex. The only problem is that I have a greater sex drive then him. He's told me that I can, er, please myself if I must on the days we aren't having sex, but that really isn't satisfying enough for me. Honestly I'm ok with having sex twice a week or so. And we were doing that for a while, but then suddenly the distance between those times has grown (and with due reason: for one we were waiting because I missed a pill, and for another thing his birthday was this week and he requested we wait until then).
It's not like he's not turned on by me. If I take my clothes off at all around him he stops whatever he is doing and stares, mouth open. He tells me all the time I'm super hot. And he always teases me that I take it when I can get it (which is completely true because I have to lol)
So, any suggestions. He knows I'm horny a lot. And I just don't have the courage to tell him to go to the doctor about it (I'm just afraid that'll make him be more self-conscience)