- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
My fiance and I need help — and this might be sort of a long story.
Our relationship with Future Mother-In-Law (his mother) is sort of “broken.” We used to spend lots of time with her. Up until we got engaged she truly was everything a girl could ask for in a mother in law.
Then we got engaged and the crazy was unleashed.
From day one it really seemed like something was off.
Well, about a month into our engagement we went over her house and were just brainstorming ideas. Literally throwing things out there and seeing what would stick. This discussion involved me, fiance, Future Mother-In-Law, and FMIL’s boyfriend. As we tossed ideas out (destination wedding, wedding in my hometown, wedding in the town we met, wedding in his hometown, literally all possibilities) his mother sat on the couch with arms crossed and a look of disapproval on her face. We could tell soemthing was wrong – but, she did not express any opinion what so ever.
She called my fiance the next day crying. Saying how we were making all these decisions without her. and how i was terrible for planning the wedding that I want and not what he wants. and that he needs to have a say in the wedding too. and all this crazy stuff. well, that really turned me off.
Well, the relationship went down hill from there. I was really offended by her reaction to literally NOTHING. so, we took her with us to look at a couple of venues. none which seemed to meet her expectations.
We asked her to put together a list of people she’d like to invite but that we wanted to keep the list below 150 people. She was nit picky with us on all decisions. Saying she wanted extended family (second cousins) and children invited. Friends from 25 years ago invited. All things we expressed we’d like to do without since we were trying to keep the number down.
Well, we’ve sort of just kinda went ahead and left her out of decisions. I know this was “rude” but it was easier than having to argue with her all the time.
Now, it seems like we never talk to her. I know shes left out of everything. But, its because she’s been difficult.
My fiance and I feel pretty bad about where the relationship is currently and we don’t know how to fix it. There is so many more petty arguements and her snide comments that I can add to this story. But really, its not that important. I know we disagree on how to plan this wedding – which is what bothers her most. But, at the end of the day, its mine and my fiance’s wedding – not hers – and she needs to get over that.
I’m sorry this is so long. I’m rambling now — what I want is some advice on how to fix this? We haven’t spoken to her in a while and I want to include her in wedding stuff but without her thinking it means that she gets to make decisions.