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What I did with mine was I matched the color of the lace of the veil with the beading of my dress. The lace of my veil was actually like antique-y silver in color and was the same color as the beading and embroidery in my gown. It looks similar to the color of the beading of your gown, actually.
It's a different approach to a mantilla veil, I guess. Sorry I don't have a colored picture yet (still waiting for my photographer!) Good luck! :)
dress.jpg (74.7 KB, 46 downloads) 2 years old 
I think a lighter colour would be fine. Check out this one:
Hard to see the colour but the veil looks much lighter than the dress. It seems to be matched to the lace and beading rather than the darker silk underneath.
This gold dress is matched with a white veil, which again looks good because it matches the white lace.
I think if you can get it to roughly match one of the colours of your dress it'll look good. And usually coloured dresses still look great with white veils so you can't go wrong if it's lighter than the dress.
Can you access the dress or is the alterations lady holding it hostage? I would go to a home improvement store and get a bunch of those paint color strips. That way you can have an exact color that the dress is to give to the veil woman. Not as good as a fabric sample maybe, but at least she can see the color in person and not just through a picture.
Sorry, I realise I've avoided the question of what colour the lace itself should be. But I think the colour rule applies in general - if it either matches one of the colours in your dress, or is a bit lighter, it'll be great 
A *dark* ivory will probably be fine. Rarely do these things match perfectly.
Oh these are great suggestions, thank you!
@greenleafmountain - LOL ,that's exactly what I told my FI, "she's holding my dress hostage". I go for my next fitting in a week. I thought of taking my scissors and clipping some tulle from the hem myself when I'm there but FI said "NO! Stop! Put down the scissors and back away from the dress! You do not need another dress disaster". Probably right :) I love the idea of paint strips.
I've done a bit more looking around and (while it's harder to find pics of mantillas), as a general rule it seems every gold and latte dress is paired with a lighter colour veil. They may even be a perfect colour match but because they're such sheer fabric they always appear lighter.
Thanks @Snuggly. That's a relief to know it won't look weird if we're off on the color.
I am trying to buy a veil to match my dress, that I haven't seen in 10 months. It is off white.. hard to try to match without having it in person. But everything I have read/heard is that it is always better to have the veil lighter. So if yours is ivory, Diamond white is probably the best. Not stark white, that might look too different. But 1-2 shades lighter is apparently the best idea.(plus matchy matchy is sometimes a little much ;))
P.S. Nice to see you went with the dress that YOU loved the most. You will look beautiful, especially if you FEEL beautiful. I found a new pic of my dress, and showed it to my FI... he still doesn't really like it, but I do. So if I feel comfortable and pretty then that is all I can ask for. Good luck and you'll look lovely in any dress!
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Since I switched to Plan B and bought my second wedding dress with 4 weeks to go before the wedding, everything needs to change ASAP. First dress was white, this is very dark ivory or beige. I have an AWESOME awesome lady making a mantilla veil for me so she said she can match the color very closely if I send her a swatch. The alterations person I'm dealing with is however not so awesome (I had to take what I can get with such a short time) and apparantly cannot be bothered to save a scrap from the dress from me. Yes, awful, unacceptable, but I must keep it together and I don't have time to deal with her attitude. First and foremost I need her to finish that dress for me. Bad Yelp review will follow. But now, my veil person will now have to go from an estimate from the pics.
I'm just wondering if anyone or can find a pic of a mantilla worn on a darker dress, i.e. antique ivory, latte, champagne etc. Does the lace match exactly, or does ivory lace look ok framing a dark dress? Here's a bad dark pic of the dress. It has lace on it that's not so dark, but looks dark because of the dark tulle & satin underneath.
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