- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
I need your help bees. I’ve prided myself thus far on being a fairly laid back bride, and if I have had any freak out moments, I’ve either kept them to myself or vented about them here without letting them spill over too much into my real life.
Well, my wedding is on Saturday, and I feel like I’m about to have a break down! I know that I should be relaxing this week, focusing on my relationship and looking forward to marrying my FI, but all I can think about is how much I have left to do. I am SO overwhelmed with anxiety- not about marrying FI, but about making sure the wedding day goes right. I cried for two hours last night while trying to finish my place cards because I was in such a panic about not being able to get them done. (I cry whenever I feel any strong emotion, I can’t help it.)
I just feel totally overwhelmed with what I have left. It isn’t even all that much stuff, but it just feels overwhelming. Since absolutely everyone (including family and wedding party) is from out of town except me and my FI, I really have no help. FI wants to help, but he has so much stuff to finish up at work before the wedding, he can’t do much. We just moved two weeks ago, and I still feel like the apartment is in shambles. I’m not ready to play hostess to a ton of people who will want to use our apartment as headquarters starting tomorrow. I haven’t even begun making the programs, I have to pack for the honeymoon, but I have to do laundry first. Our printer isn’t set up, so I can’t print the place cards or the programs, if they ever even get made. I have to clean up and go to the grocery store so we can host all these people. I have a million errands to run all over town. I have to get all the vendors paid, have to drop off the reception decorations, have to buy the ceremony flowers at the farmer’s market, have to pick up my dress (which didn’t fit the last time I tried it on!) and on and on and on. Every time I have tried to delegate some of these tasks, it just turns out ten times as stressful because people either won’t do it in the timeframe that I need or will do it wrong, and I end up having to re-do it myself.
I want to be one of those brides who can prioritize and just throw little unnecessary projects out the window, but I can’t get over this feeling of anxiety. I had a dream last night that I didn’t make programs, and my mother was yelling at me at the rehearsal and everyone was disappointed in me and I woke up feeling like a total failure. Over programs. How stupid is that!? In my mind, I know I’m overreacting, but I can’t seem to get my emotions under control!
Can anyone relate or help me figure out how to deal with this panic without exploding? I’m just so overwhelmed, I feel panicked and paralyzed at the same time… I just want to enjoy these next few days, but my inability to handle wedding stress is making me miserable.