Post # 1
Okay, so over the weekend I watched a few episodes of Bridezillas–yikes! I know the wedding process can be stressful, especially as it ramps up to the big event, and being a bit of a control freak and perfectionist I want to be sure I keep my perspective. I want to be kind and peaceful, grateful and joyous. I need helpful advice on how to stay “in the zone” and not flip out. I am starting daily visualizations and affirmations. Anyone have helpful advice?
Post # 3
I have tried to approach the wedding planning process the same way. If I can’t look back at it as an absolute positive experience from start to finish (and who can?), I want to at least look back and say I took it all in stride, and I wasn’t a crazy person. I really don’t have any advice though! Especially because I’m not out of the woods yet. What I will say, is being conscious of how you want to be (kind, peaceful, grateful, joyous) will carry you a long way. Its all about thinking before you react… and waiting to freak out to someone uninvolved 🙂
Post # 4
Don’t sweat the small stuff and THINK before you speak.
Don’t let your emotions take charge of you either. Don’t think that because your the bride your wants trump EVERYONE elses.
Post # 5
pick your battles. it’s just not worth fighting over most things, and remember that your goal is to get married so as long as that happens all will be ok.
i was a bridesmaid in a wedding and got yelled at for wrinkling the ribbon on her favors as i spent hours helping put them together. she was stressed, i get it, but she would have been less stressed if she was less worried about ribbon, that people just take off to get to the candy and then throw away.
this being said, i still think that it’s ok to stick up for the things you really want. i had a fight with my mom over the guest list, we had a small venue and needed to cut some people off. she called me a bridezilla for wanting this, but i wasn’t going to let go something that was really important to me.
Post # 6
The girls on that show are (a) hamming it up for TV and (b) most likely huge bitches IRL.
That being said, just sort of taking yourself out of your own mind sometimes helps. It’s easy to start thinking little stupid things are important when you have to focus on details all the time but really in the end most of it does not matter AT ALL. Also, don’t expect anyone to care about your wedding as much as you do because nobody does.
Post # 7
I think its more difficult to be a bridezilla than not be.
Remember one thing, you are marrying the man you LOVE and are becoming his wife and starting a new life. Its about the marriage and the wedding will only be one day out of the rest of your lives. I have had a great planning process, it was relaxed and enjoyed every minute of it. I am not sure why people stress out as much as they do. We did most of the planning right after we got engaged, our parents have been supportive with helping us pick out the little details. We picked a reasonable budget and stuck to it by eliminating or downsizing when we had to. Really…it will be amazing no matter what because it will be your day and at the end of it you will look back on it and realize that its the first day of the rest of your lives. I have been to so many weddings in the past few years and honestly whether it was 100,000 or 20,000, on a beach or castle or catering hall, whether the dress was 1,000, 10,000 or 15,000 they were all wonderful. Every wedding is unique!
This wedding planning process just makes me want to get married already and be a bride and then be husband and wife.
Enjoy every second of it!
Post # 8
Hire a wedding planner.
Honestly, when I would watch that show years ago, I would think “The problem is that they are doing everything themselves! I could imagine getting stressed out if you have to micromanage every aspect of a day that is supposed to be an important and happy day in your life.” You can’t be cavalier about stuff when you are planning, even if you may not totally care on the day-of. You still want to order the napkins that are the right shade of purple to coordinate with the purple in your bridesmaids bouquets 6 months out, even if you wouldn’t care if on the day-of you get to the reception hall and notice that its lilac instead of plum. A lot of the women–especially in the more recent seasons–seem to be totally fake, but I can see how going through this process as bride AND planner can be totally draining & stressful.
As I am going through it NOW, I realize that I was right!! Unfortunately I cannot afford to hire a planner beyond the DoC, and I am trying to do everything myself…from the other side of the country! A million decisions need to be made, and since I am trying to save as much money as possible, a million hours of research needs to go into making each of these decisions. A lot of things that could be totally solved or take an extra stress off of my plate if I had $1000 to throw at the problem, end up being MY problem that I have to find creative solutions for. I’m not a person that tends to get mad or angry or yell or do any of the bridezilla things, but I feel the stress nonetheless, and am just going to be happy on the day-of when none of those things are my problem anymore!!
So, in order to make sure you keep your cool, my advice (apart from doing your best to be independently wealthy!) is to try to have as much of the work taken off of your plate as possible–whether it’s through a wedding planner or a (competent!) friend or family member, and DEFINITELY hire a DOC so that you can at the least enjoy your day!
Post # 9
Pinky swear with FI that you won’t fight on any wedding stuff! Then you aren’t taking your anger out on everyone else!