Post # 1
So… I really don’t want my female cousin on my father’s side to come to our wedding. But I’m not sure if this is possible without having scandal or outrage.
She lives in another state so I barely speak to her and in fact have only spoken to her once in the last 5 years! However I am friends with her on facebook and this has slowly led to my strong dislike of her. She has had 2 or 3 major blow ups regarding my Uncle (who I like very much) the worst of which was her calling him a [email protected] publicly on facbook because he wouldn’t pay for her medical bills. She thought that as her father it was his duty to pay them regardless of the fact that she lives with her boyfriend in her own apartment and has done so for the last 4 years.
She often does things like this to get attention from others and I can’t stand people who do this. The problem of course spurs from the fact that I do want to invite some of my closer cousins (on my mother’s side) who I see and speak to regularly. We are also trying to keep our wedding as small and intimate as possible with only family and close friends. At this point I feel that she is more of a annoying stranger than anything else.
The problem of course could easily be solved by her not being able to afford to come; however, my well of grandparents would happily pay for her and her boyfriend to attend as they have in the past for other weddings.
The problem could also be solved if I just informing my grandmother that we are having a small wedding and not inviting cousins, but this may cause drama on the wedding day as I do intend to invite my two cousins on my mother’s side.
I’m just not sure what I should do… should I invite (and pay for) her and her boyfriend regardless to save on drama? Has anyone else had problems with this before? How did you handle it?
Thanks so much for any advice!
Post # 3
I would invite her. While she sounds like an unpleasant person, it doesn’t sound like she’d disrupt the wedding in any way. So there’s no real drama in inviting her, but potentially major drama if you don’t. Also, though she’s been nasty to her father, it doesn’t sound like she’s actually been nasty to you, and it’s not your place to judge her interactions with her father. Just seat her with her family and ignore her.
Post # 4
Hmm, I have a huge extended family and I didn’t invite most of my cousins on my dad’s side despite being FB friends bc I hardly know them. However I live 2,000 miles away from most of my family and had a 70 person wedding so probably easier. My oldest sister did the same thing for her wedding. If there were any pissed of people or hurt feelings I wasn’t made aware of it. also my family in general manages to steer clear of drama so that helped too I’m sure. I thought if it like, “if cousin x didn’t invite me to her wedding, but did invite cousin y would I be hurt?” No was my answer. In fact, I would be glad it saved me a wedding gift.
Post # 5
Our wedding is going by who we are closest to, not ‘levels’. For instance, my first cousins on mum’s side are invited, my cousins on dad’s side are not. FH is inviting 2 third cousins, but is not inviting many of his first cousins. I don’t see why you would have to invite her, she may think it’s a little weird given that you haven’t spoken to her in 5 years, and if it’s an intimate wedding you want then it doesn’t make sense to invite her.
If you do think it will cause drama by not inviting her (i don’t understand why you should be expected to, but whatever) then it would be easier for you to do it. Personally, I wouldn’t, just because you haven’t seen her in so long, don’t like her and I just can’t see any reason she should be invited just because you’re related to her.
Post # 6
If you haven’t seen her and don’t really speak there is no rule that you must invite someone to YOUR wedding. Just tell your grandparents you are keeping it small and she isn’t invited and still invite your other 2 cousins who you are closer to.
Post # 7
How about u get off FB until the wedding is over… don’t just don’t even mention it. SAy no. Claim poverty. Just defriend her. To hey with the drama llamas. You’re a grown ass woman,aren’t you? Just plan your wedding and this chick can go go heck.
Post # 8
I say go ahead, don’t invite her… but be prepared to start a big old family war.
I really don’t understand, you don’t like her but it doesn’t seem that she ever did anything particularly bad to you so yes, snubbing her is going to divide the family. I would think that you wouldn’t want to distract from your wedding by inventing a huge unnecessary conflict……but whatever
Of course you don’t HAVE to invite anyone if you don’t want to….but just be prepared for the fallout