(Closed) How to offer to pay for the bachelorette?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Did your sister not clear the per person cost with them before the plans were made?  I would think that if they were all involved in the planning they wouldn’t have said OK to the plan if they couldn’t afford it.

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Ah, in that case… here is what I would do.  Your friends will probably never let you as the bride cover their costs.  SO.. I would have your sister call or email and just say “I know it’s really important to hilsy to have all of her best girls there so just let me know how much you can afford to spend and I can help cover the rest”.  And then you can just pay your sister for whatever needs to be covered.  Would that work?  I know my MOH ended up paying more than some of my other bridesmaids because she is quite a bit older and more established and had the funds and everyone was fine with that.

Post # 6
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m sorry to semi-threadjack – but do you mind me asking where you’re going wine-tasting?  I’ve been thinking about doing something similar for an upcoming bachelorette party, but I don’t know where’s a good place to go.

As for offering, I think you could probably just tell your MOH that you’re willing to chip in.  The next time you guys are talking about the party, just say something like “I know that it’s probably going to get fairly pricey, so I’m more than willing to help out with the costs, especially if that might mean more people can come because they don’t have to cover my costs for wine tour/hotel.” or something like that.  You can also do what I did (and what my MOH tried to do on her bachelorette party) and just whip out some cash/credit card on the day of when it’s time to pay for things.  My girls took me to a salon to do manis/pedis/facials and when it came time to pay, I just whipped out my card to pay for myself.  But when my friend tried to do that at her bachelorette party, we just threw her money back at her, haha.  😛  I think she ended up chipping in $20 total for tips though.

Post # 7
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think it is rude and tacky to ask everyone, “How much of the $125 can you afford to pay?” It puts everyone on the spot and I would not feel comfortable answering such a question. I would recommend that since you have chosen pricier options and want everyone to attend – that you pay a portion if you would like.

The girls day I have planned will also be pricey and I plan to pay for all but drinks and dinner that night.

 

Post # 8
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

When I was a MOH for my best friend, she and I discreetly paid for one of the BM to attend her bachelorette party. She was a broke college student and was very worried she couldn’t afford to come. The bride and I told her in private not to worry about the cost and that we would cover her. We didnt mention this to the other ladies and the bride and I paid for her costs privately.

Also for my own bachelorette party, I paid for the limo. This helped decrease the overall cost to attend my party and everyone benefitted from it. Is there one element of the party you could cover? Or maybe you could work out something privaetly with the girls you are worried about, like I did.

Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

That’s definitely a tough situation.  It’s too bad that your sister isn’t being more understanding on the situation.  Maybe you can just try talking to her again and explain how you’d really like your friends to be able to come and if you helping to pay helps to make that happen, then that’s what you want to do.

Post # 12
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Have your FI or mom call your sister and offer to subsidize some of the costs for these girls.  If they present it as “Hilsy really wants these girls there but is worried they won’t be able to come if it’s too expensive, so this is my gift to Hilsy – a great bachelorette with ALL of her friends there.”  Your sister might be more likely to accept it if it’s not coming out of your pocket (but you can discretely pay your FI or mom back).  If you still think she won’t, you could have your FI/mom call the friends directly.

A FI of a friend of mine paid for the limo for her party and nobody objected.  I wish I had done it that way.  I tried telling the MOH directly – she refused, saying she could not let me pay for my own party.  Even if your friends struggle with paying their own way, they might struggle even more with YOU paying their way.

Post # 14
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee

I told my MOH that for my bachorlette party we all pay for ourselves…

We are going to Vegas and all pitch in for a suite and the guys are doing the same… i mean of course we can share paying for rounds of drinks.. but I dont expect them to pay for me. and they know it.

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