Post # 1
We aren’t getting married for at least a year and a half (no date set yet) so I still have some time, but of course people are beginning to ask for details. I’ve started to think about how I’m going to decide who to ask to be my bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor. I have 3 sisters, so obviously they will all 3 be my bridesmaids, but I was thinking rather than asking one of them to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, I’d ask a friend. I don’t think I want more than 5 bridesmaids, which means I can ask 2 more of my friends but I have 5 that I’d consider asking. I don’t know how to choose who to ask without hurting anyone’s feelings, let alone which one I’d ask to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. How did you decide on your bridesmaids?? I’m dreading having to ask and it’s starting to stress me out 🙁 Should I just have my 3 sisters and ask the one I’m closest to to be my MOH? I have no idea what to do. Ahhh!
Post # 3
I honestly think that you should choose one of your sisters!! They’ll be in your life forever whereas friends will come and go (unfortunetly even the closest ones). Although you said it yourself, you still have time. Maybe when it comes to fittings you should then decide on who you want your Maid/Matron of Honor to be. 🙂 best of luck xx.
Post # 4
Ooooh that is tough and I can honestly say I know people who have faced the same dilemma, but in the end they picked one of their sisters. They usually pick the one they’re closest to or the one who is the most mature and responsible.
I don’t have any siblings so it was quite easy to pick my BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor. They’re my sister from another mister!
Post # 5
I’d say have all of them (making 8) or just have your sisters. Then you can easily just pick the eldest/the unmarried one/ the one you’re closest to/the most reliable. And like PP said, they’ll be there forever.
Post # 6
My advice would be to:
1. Wait a little more before choosing/announcing anything. Sad to say, but bridesmaid hopefuls start showing their true colors around a year before the big day it seems, and sometimes it isn’t pretty. Allow some more time to pass for any weirdness or unforeseen jealousy or what have you to pass. If they’re impatiently wanting to know details if they’re chosen or not, they’re putting their wants ahead of your needs. Go at your own speed, not their speed.
2. Choose a sister to be Maid/Matron of Honor = blood is thicker than water. Choose the eldest, the one that is most obviously closer to you, so the other sisters see there is a clear reason why you chose your Maid/Matron of Honor as you did.
3. Less bridesmaids = less drama. I could have had 8 but chose 3 in the end and soooo happy I did. All the drama I foresaw caused by the 5 others played out as expected, but not in my wedding party! Make sure you’re asking reliable people that are there to support *you* on your day, and people that will be genuinely happy for you. Be wary of choosing someone you feel has even the slightest tinge of selfishness because you can bet they will vamp up that aspect of their character throughout the planning process.
Last, here’s a rule that helped me: Choose the gal that would understand if you didn’t choose her to be a bridesmaid, because she’s the one humble and gracious enough to accept when you do choose her.
Post # 7
Thank all of you ladies so much for your advice! I think I will probably end up having just my 3 sisters and asking the middle of the 3 to be my Maid/Matron of Honor. We are the closest, she’s single with no kids (not TOO busy with her own family) and definitely the most reliable. I really appreciate your input…you’ve made this touchy subject a little easier to tackle!! xoxo
Post # 8
There are so many factors that go into picking the wedding party- and I know of so many brides who may have filled spots differently because thye didn’t weigh all of their options before picking.
Check out this article about picking bridesmaids. There are also posts related to choosing groomsmen, ushers and personal attendants.
I hope this helps! And Congrats!