Post # 1
I am getting ready to send out invites for my sis’s bachelorette party, but I need help on how to encourage privacy. She is marrying a minister and one of the bms is married to a minister. Another guest is active in the youth program at the church. Should I put something in the invite about privacy (ex: In order to respect the privacy of all those involved, we ask that cell phones and cameras not be present after the dinner portion of the festivities) or should I say something at the dinner? I don’t want to be rude to any of the lovely ladies invited, but pictures of us with drinks in our hands can’t be floating around the interwebs. How do you think I should handle this situation?
Post # 3
@cant.wait.to.be.mrs.d: TBH, I’m a little confused on why it would be an issue. If the ladies are concerned about being seen drinking, then they probably shouldn’t be drinking. If they are going to abstain, then I don’t see the big deal about them being photographed with others who are drinking.
Regardless, couldn’t you just simply tell the bachelorette guests not to take any photos after dinner? I’m assuming your sis knows and trusts all these women, or else she wouldn’t be inviting them. I don’t think it’s right to ask them not to have their cell phones on them after dinner. I myself do not go anywhere without mine – always nice to have in an emergency.
Post # 4
I think just word of mouth should be enough–you could say something to the group when you’re together at dinner, or just in casual convos with the guests. I don’t think it’d be necessary to put that on the invite
Post # 5
@Bubu82: I agree 100%.
I think you can ask for photos not to be taken after the dinner if you really feel strongly about that (but do it at the dinner itself).
I don’t think you can ask people not to have their cell phones.
Post # 7
@Bubu82: This. Said it much better than I could have
Post # 8
Just my take on the situation – if I saw my ministers wife out at a bachelorette party, I would expect her (since I know her) to maybe have one or two drinks but thats it. Given the standing of two of the invited guests, I would leave it up to them to determine the comfort level, and to behave as they are expected to. Other than that, a “what happens in Vegas” comment at dinner would most likely work.
Post # 9
I am a pastor’s wife, and I honestly would not be comfortable in a setting where the point of the rest of the evening would be drinking. Perhaps your sister and the others you mentioned may be more comfortable if there was a different type of activity planned, such as a spa day followed by an elegant dinner, without the after-party type atmosphere?
Post # 10
From this post, I’m getting the idea that drinking probably isn’t/shouldn’t be a focal point of the evening? I would ask the girls to please refrain from photos – but, I wouldn’t go out and do anything that I don’t feel comfortable having on camera…
Post # 11
hmmm if you dont want pictures taken of whatever you are doing, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it? no judgement just saying.
Post # 12
Don’t drink, problem solved.
Post # 13
My SIL is a teacher at a Christian private school. She doesn’t drink often, but every now and then she does. She makes it very clear that no one should ever tag photos of her drinking on FB. She just can’t have stuff like that on the internet. It’s not because she thinks drinking is wrong and wants to hide it (and I think she has every right to drink if she wants to, even if she is a kindergarten teacher), it’s because some of the parents of the students she teaches might get upset if they somehow found pictures of her drinking. It’s stupid that people get upset over what a teacher does on the weekend, but I think she has a right to decide what images of her go online to protect her job.
Likewise, even though these women may not believe that drinking in moderation or attending a relatively lively party with alcohol is wrong, some silly members of their churchs’ congregations might get their panties in a twist if they ever saw the pastor’s wife with a drink in her hand (or maybe even just next to people with drinks in their hands). It is more trouble than it’s worth to explain it was a bachelorette, and it’s none of their business anyway. They don’t need to refrain from drinking just because they are wives of pastors. At the same time, they have every right not to want pictures of them drinking put up on Facebook.
OP, I think it’s fine to ask people to refrain from taking photos, but I would probably leave it up to the individual to ask not to be photographed or tagged.
Post # 14
I have friends who are teachers and ask the same thing to not be tagged in pictures when they are out on the town. I think word of mouth at dinner would be fine:)
Post # 15
I think it’s up to those being photographed (or not) to say that they don’t want to be photographed.
Maybe take a ton of photos at dinner and say individually ask people not to take photos later.
I, too, have friends who are teachers who’ll say “don’t tag me in that” if we’re out and we take group photos.
Post # 16
Thank you to those of you who actually answered my question! Very helpful! I think I will just mention it casually at dinner and then let everyone decide how to handle the situation on their own.
Oh, and the reason for no cell phones is because we are going to a bunch of different places with live bands, dancing, and huge crowds. Things tend to get lost at places like that. I am going to carry a big purse so I can keep everything secure for everyone.