(Closed) How to politely ask if someone gave a gift?

posted 9 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I would say something like this, "Thank you so much for joining us for our wedding day! We’re working on our thank you cards and I realized that I don’t have a gift listed from you. Not that we expected one, but if you did give one, we’d like to properly thank you for it. Could you just let me know if I mis-thanked someone else or missed your gift?"

It’s a awkward, "darned if you do, darned if you don’t" situation. 

Post # 4
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

To be honest, we didn’t ask.  We just sent people that didn’t give a gift a thank you card that said "thanks for celebrating with us."  We assume that if they get a card like that and did send a gift, they’ll certainly check in to make sure we received it.  Also, we got a few gifts a month or two after the wedding.  We also have a few that are "on the way" but I’m not counting on it.

Post # 5
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Just send them a thank you note for coming and supporting you on your special day. IF they got you a gift, they will call you when they receive a thank you note without mention of the gift to ask if you also received their gift.

If they didn’t get you a gift, they will either remember when they get the thank you note & send it to you, or they aren’t planning on getting you one. 

Post # 6
Member
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think I’d send out a generic thank you card and feelers, so to speak.  For example, have your mom talk to them… "Oh, wasn’t tbittle’s wedding lovely?  The only flaw in the day was that a few gifts got lost as the cleaning crew was taking care of the reception…" Then if the person gave you a gift and got a generic thank you card, they might bring it up at that point.  Besides that, I don’t think there’s any way you can do it without sounding gift grabby if they didn’t give you one.

Post # 7
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t think there is a polite way!! Like the others said, sending a note thanking the guest for attending and celebrating with you and a good way to let them know you did not receive a gift, or their card got lost or something. If they did give a gift and their card got lost, then they will probably tell one of your parent’s or bridal party members and you will receive the message. If they did not bring the gift it may be on it’s way, or they may not give one at all. Even if they are good friends, maybe they cannot afford one at this time.

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