How to politely decline money without ruffling feathers

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I think the wording you’ve worked out is very respectful. I’d go with it. 

Post # 3
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I think you’re jumping to conclusions thinking it has to be what they want plus having them pay for it, or getting what you want and having YOU pay for it. Simply say “mom, dad, it’s really important to me that I have the wedding at this venue. I understand you may not like it, but it’s what I’ve got my heart set on. We are going to go with another venue. I just feel a lot of pressure about what you guys want vs. what we want. We can pay for the venue, if you’re still willing to help out with the rest, that would be great. But we’ve made a firm decision. Know I love you, and your input is valuable to me, but we’re resolute.”

Just see what they say. There’s no reason to have all or nothing with them. You might also want to highlight that it’s YOUR wedding, and they want you to be happy, right?

Post # 4
Member
2895 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

peekaboo89:  I would skip the bit about other places to gift you money.  Just leave it at the wedding, and let other issues come up when they may.   

Post # 5
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Misswhowedding:  Yes, I agree with leaving out that last part. If things go well and they bring it up, THEN you can offer an alternative place to gift money.

Post # 6
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

When you invited them to see a venue (that wasn’t the Masonic hall), you invited them to give their opinions.  Your parents are being overbearing and annoying, but in their own way they’re trying to be supportive.  

I’d just tell them “Me and FI had a tough time choosing, but we’ve decided the hall is the best bet for us.”  If they object, you can tell them you’re putting a deposit down no matter what.  At this point, they can decide what to do with their money.  Nice parents won’t withdraw their money simply because you picked a different venue.         

If you tell your parents “We’re paying for our own wedding because you’re too opinionated” it’ll cause a fight.  

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors