(Closed) How to politely explain a small guest list

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

just say youre having a small wedding it’s the economy people will understand

Post # 4
Member
26 posts
Newbee

I worry about the same thing too!  But all the married people I’ve talked to have said not to worry.  Unless you’re having a huge 500+ people wedding, people usually understand that you HAVE to make hard choices! 

Post # 5
Member
898 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think it would be a bad idea to write a short note on your website telling people you are keeping it small. Also, since your parents are supportive of this small wedding, you should have them help spread the word. Parents can help break the news to their respective family members who think they will be invited. I wouldn’t worry too much about hurt feelings, like everyone else said, they’ll understand.

Post # 6
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I like FlipFlopBride’s suggestion of enlisting your families to help you spread the word about the wedding.  We found that just telling people that we were keeping the wedding small seemed to be sufficient.  There were a few people who may have expected to be invited who were not, but no one seemed particularly put out and they all understood our situation.  We paid for everything ourselves, so when we told people that, they usually understood.

Post # 7
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We are having a small wedding too (120 people).  I set our wedding website up so it is not in the public search and it’s password protected so only people I send the link and password to can access it.  And I only gave it to people we sent save-the-dates to. 

I have had to deal with a few people on Facebook sending me comments once my status changed to "engaged" about when the wedding will be and where, etc.  I finally had to say, "oh we are having a small ceremony with family and close friends in blah blah blah".  THey got the hint immediately and just said, "can’t wait to see pictures".  So I would just try something like that.

It did amaze me though how many people came out of the woodworks once they heard I was engaged.  Its like, "hey even though I haven’t talked to you in a million years, you’re inviting me to your wedding right?" 

Post # 8
Member
529 posts
Busy bee

I don’t understand why those people would want to go to a wedding where they barely know anyone. The same thing happened to me on Facebook, too, but not everyone was as polite!

Post # 9
Member
19 posts
Newbee

We put nothing about the reception on the website, and only invited some to the reception, all to the wedding.  Reception invitations were seperate cards in the invitation, so not all got them.

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