How To (Politely) Get Out of Church…advice, please!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3738 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@badabing88:  “Thanks so much for the invitation, but I’m really not feeling too hot right now. Something I ate yesterday really isn’t sitting well with me and I’d hate to interrupt service running to the bathroom. See you all when you get back!”

Post # 5
Member
3738 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@badabing88:  You should both make a point to eat something the same that everyone else doesn’t eat… Perhaps a burrito on the way to where you’re going? 

Post # 6
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

@badabing88:  what does your BF think?  It’s his family,  maybe he can gauge how cool they’d be with it. 

If it were me,  I would either be really forthcoming and say, “___services make me uncomfortable, but while you’re gone I’ll get lunch ready” OR just suck it up and go if I felt like it would be more hassle than it’s worth for a 1hr commitment. 

 

Post # 7
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’d just be honest and say “thank you for the invitation, but church isn’t my thing.”  

Post # 8
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

Just be honest and thank them for the invite.

If they are pushy, ask them to respect your beliefs and decisions.

Post # 9
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@badabing88:  I would be honest and firm, but still polite (unless she tried to force me). I would just explain that it doesn’t match my belief system and I would be uncomfortable going. She can’t argue with that and she can’t expect that everyone on the planet has the same beliefs as her. One of my friends is Christian and she is always inviting us to religious events. We just tell her that it wouldn’t make a lot of sense for us to attend given we are agnostic, not Christian, and that attending wouldn’t be true to who we are. She never gets mad – but she also never stops asking 😛

Post # 11
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Have BF set the expectation ahead of time–nothing worse than drama last minute.  Be polite but clear.  I had a friend who pulled something like the following and it worked well for her…have bf call ahead and say something like: “oh hey…when we are there are you all planning to go to services?  We just wanted to let you guys know ahead of time that we don’t want you to skip just because we are in town–badabing88 and I are totally fine entertaining ourselves while you go to church. In fact, we’d love to arrange lunch for you for when you’re back is there anything special you want as a thank you for hosting us?”

Post # 12
Member
9253 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@badabing88:    Hey you! 

You don’t owe them an explanation at all. 

If they want to go to church, let them go.  Just don’t say anything.  If they invite you and your BF, say, “Thanks, we appreciate the invitation but that’s ok.  We’ll see you after the service.” 

Unless you want to have the “religious confrontation” just be polite and decline their invitation without explanation.  They don’t have to know why  you don’t want to go, for all they know you always sleep in on Sunday mornings.  It’s none of their business, lol.  😉

Post # 14
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I would be honest. Just say its not for you! If she gets offended by that it says a lot about her.

Post # 15
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@badabing88:  So this happens with me and FH when I see my folks or they come stay with us. Many times I would go to church but when I don’t want to go to church, I simply state in a friendly yet direct way, “I’m not going to join you at church today but I’ll be here when you come back.”

I’m sure you won’t be the first person to politely decline. If they recognize you as the adult you are, they should respect your decision.

Post # 16
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@badabing88:  You say they are nice people, nice people would understand that you do not share their beliefs and leave it at that.  If they are not nice people and think this is a requirement, I’d check into a hotel.

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