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I've heard about a trick that I'm considering using (since finding ACTUAL matchy bridesmaid dresses that makes everyone happy is hard!). Go to the hardware store and grab some paint chips in the color scheme you want and give them to your BMs. Have them pick something in THAT color family, and to send you a picture before they buy it so you can approve it.
I agree with ookbob. I am doing almost exactly the same thing as you w/ my BMs, but I will send them a few pics via email of length and color families that I like (a dark chocolatey brown). I MAY ask them to send me pics of dresses for me to "approve" but that seems a little zilla-ey.
I just sent my bridesmaids an email this weekend explaining the whole non-matching bridesmaids dress thing (we're doing black) They are all already very excited about choosing their own dresses! At first I wasn't going to give them a ton of guidelines, but I wanted to make sure it looked cohesive enough so I included a bunch and added several inspiration pictures. I was afraid at first that I was too specific, but I've gotten really good feedback from all of them and I feel like they "get" it!
I'd be happy to share with you the email I sent them if you PM me!
@ookbob: I really like the paint chip idea! Thanks!
@ookbob: and I love the idea with the paint chips! My friend did it for her wedding to show everyone the green she was looking for. It really did help!
I agree with both of your ideas. I think the best way you can pull of mismatched yet coordinated looks is to provide a color scheme to the your maid of honors, preferably with a visual sample, with specific instructions like kind of fabric (satin, lace cotton), overall design (this relates to your theme like flowery, goddess-inspired, chic), and length (cocktail, knee-length). You can also let them buy dresses on the same day so they can follow a single specific style, discuss the kind of dress they'll get, and so on.
I'm doing this for my fall wedding, partially because my BMs all have different body type, and partially because they all live in different cities, and getting together to pick a dress will be next to impossible. Plus, I've never been a big fan of matching clothes, but that is just me.
I just gave them two stipulations: Navy and cocktail length. I'm actually hoping for different materials and shades, because I want it to look as intentionally different as possible. Seems to be working- one BM is reusing a dress from another wedding, which has a higher collar, one is looking at strapless taffeta with a bubble skirt, and one is looking at chiffon with a v-neck. Plus they will all be rocking different colors of shoes (one lime green, one red, and one yellow) so I HOPE I'll be pulling off the eclectic, mismatched look... we shall see!
Yes, do make sure you are very clear about the shades you want. I sent my 6 BMs 2 color inspiration boards - everyone got it except for one. All the other dresses were wintermint, emerald, and she got *what I call* puke green (it's actually called apple green, but it was gross & didn't go with the other 5 dresses). I had to tell her to get a new dress & re-send her the links. I also made sure she sent me dresses to approve before she bought the 2nd one. Still didn't get the whole color tone thing, and sent me 7 out of 10 links that were in the wrong color green. It's taken care of now!
Just make sure you make sure you know what YOU want before setting the girls free (I was winging it and learned a few things, but I think it all worked out). Dress length, fabric, print/no print, neckline, whatever.
Here is what my BMs will be wearing (with blush pink shoes & earrings) - not all of the fabrics are the same, but I don't care so much about that. 4 of the 6 dresses are from JCrew, so I think that helps to make the look more cohesive:
I told my girls the color and store (David's), but told them they were free to pick their own. At first, I wanted them to wear the same thing, but after ordering a few (David's let you order online and return), I knew that was going to be next to impossible! For me, it was more important that the girls wear something they feel comfortable in (I have one that hasn't worn a dress in 5+ years), since that will reflect in the pictures.
You could show the girls the look you're going for, and your guidelines, but reserve the right to veto where you see fit. It will look great!
i am considering the mismatched dresses as well. to maintain cohesiveness, i think i am going to tell all my girls the color i want from a specific store/brand, the length, and "nothing shiny" - or maybe a few preferred fabrics/textures. this way they can not only dictate the style they want, but the cost too.i will also include pictures of inspiration boards and maybe even a few dresses i really like.
a co-worker of mine did the mis-match as well. she said she got a swatch from a fabric store and told all her girls to get something that matched that swatch.
We are having a Scottish themed wedding. We have two bridesmaids, one bridesman and three groomsmen (who will all be wearing kilts).
The girls and I went to try on dresses together - my brief was: same colour/different style or different colour/same style and that I want them to feel beautiful and able to wear their dress again. After they both tried on the same colour, varied colours and lots of different designs, we opted for a navy blue and a jade green in the same style. It looks cohesive because of the variety of colours in the tartans that the guys will be wearing... But I must say, it took a few days (and a lot of reassurance from my Mom and the girls) for me to feel comfortable that we had made the right decision! The rest of the wedding (eg. flowers) will be all white to set of the tartans and the colours.
I think the mismatched look is a wonderful way to individualise your wedding party. I can recommend the paint chip idea but would also spend a day to shop with the girls as a group so that they get a feel for the colours and styles that 'work' from your and each others' perspectives.
I love it, but it stressed my BMs out a bit. MOH and I chose short Bill Levkoff chiffon dresses in pewter, and I let them choose their style. That wasn't too bad, but I want them to choose their own shoes, as long as they're gray, yellow or hot pink. They're having a hard time with it. But I do love the mismatched BM look :)
The shoe inspiration:
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I really want to do mismatched bridesmaids! I just love the look! I also like the idea of letting my bridesmaids choose their own dresses.
I really like these sorts of looks:
I have four bridesmaids and a maid of honor. I was thinking of just telling them to get a brown dress, not floor length and not shiny material. I'd also note that my wedding isn't very formal, so nothing too fancy and over the top. Do you think this would work out, or do I need to give them more guidlines to create a mismatched but coordinated look?