(Closed) How to be upfront, put it out there, even though it might hurt her feelings

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do?
    write her a letter : (1 votes)
    8 %
    call her and let her decide : (0 votes)
    nothing, don't say anything unless she brings it up : (11 votes)
    92 %
    other please comment below : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    1518 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think if you call her and bring it up yourself you are going to just sound like you are making a bunch of excuses and that would not only hurt her feelings but make her mad that you are assuming she wouldn’t want to be a BM. 

    I would just  not saying anything about her not being a BM.. but don’t bring up ANY wedding stuff with her either- unless she asks about how it is going. It’s not fair to talk about it all the time with her if she isn’t involved any further than as a guest. 

    If she does confront you about not being a BM then say well i am having these people. If she continues to interrogate you then maybe say some of your reasons. I would just do my best to avoid any drama. 

    Post # 4
    1518 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    one good excuse is that you want to invite her whole family and you thought it would be hard for her to have the kids there and still be in the wedding party.. or ask her to do the guestbook where she is involved but not in the bridal party. Or have her do a reading.. if you feel you are really going to be hurting her feelings these are ways to include her without making her a BM.

    Post # 5
    14503 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think you should just leave it alone and say nothing.  It would be creating issues that may or may not be there.  If she asks about not being a BM simply apologize that your decision may have hurt her feelings and leave it at that, the reasoning will just create a whole other layer to the conflict.

    Post # 7
    9057 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    She probably realizes she has a lot on her plate just as much as you do.  I’d just leave it.

    The topic ‘How to be upfront, put it out there, even though it might hurt her feelings’ is closed to new replies.

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