Post # 1
I was getting my car worked on a few weeks ago and the mechanic does a lot of work with my FstepFIL, but I don’t know him. He knew I was getting married soon, and he asked me where so I told him, he made a comment about how expensive it must be, asked if my parents were rich, and asked if my parents were paying for it!! I didn’t know what to say. I don’t even know this guy.
Then a few days ago we are visiting my Future Father-In-Law and delivering the invitation when the caretaker opens it, reads it and sees where the wedding is taking place, then starts making comments about how expensive it must be, and asks the same questions as the mechanic, are your parent’s paying for this? Do you parents have a lot of money??
I don’t know why this keeps happening as in neither of these situations did I initiate the topic of my wedding (well, except in giving the invitation to my fiance’s dad, not even to the caretaker, who opened it without his permission, but that is another issue), but how do I respond? These situations both happened with people that I’ve never even met before talking to them. I don’t mind talking to my friends or bridesmaids about things like this if they want to know, but not random people. How do I react?
Post # 2
You don’t need to react. It’s nobody’s business. OR you can tell them that you don’t share that info. As an adult people will ask us some nosy or inappropriate questions but we don’t have to answer.
Post # 3
Just say, “I’d rather not discuss it”.
Post # 4
Don’t tell them. Also what is “expensive” to one person is “reasonably-priced” to another. It’s all fairly subjective depending on your finances- which are none of their business.
Tell them in a very mature way to mind their own beeswax. I agree with a PP saying something like “I’d rather not discuss it” or changing the subject to something else. If they persist tell them you don’t feel the need to discuss your finances with strangers.
Post # 5
Dear Abby used to suggest a response to completely inappropriate questions “Why would you ask that question?”
Post # 6
julies1949: I love that! I just think I was so caught off guard the first time that I just said “umm…” I don’t even know if I really said anything after that. I didn’t have time to think or be witty! But if this happens another time I’m prepared 🙂
Post # 7
julies1949: love that response.
Post # 8
summersparklebride: I would always say something like “that’s between me and my bookie” or “wait, you mean I have to PAY for this? I better figure that out!” But I divert anything that makes me uncomfortable with humor…
Post # 9
I would love to have the presence of mind to respond with something like, “Oh, I am picking up some extra shifts at (insert strip club joint here)” or “Oh we are buying cigarette cartons and seling them at markup”, or some other illegal/ethically questionable activity. Just to see how they reacted.