- 8 years ago
- Wedding: January 2011
This will be a long post as my situation is an odd one.
My husband and I had a quick court marriage on August 25th last year. Part of the reason for our quick marriage was that my student visa was going to expire and being a couple who are almost inseparable and did the long distance (Australia to USA) relationship for almost 2 of the 5 years we dated (and lived together for almost 4 years), going back to that kind of relationship was not an option – we were ready to become more than boyfriend and girlfriend.
Unfortunately, the whole proposal was very rushed. I called him in tears and told him I had to go back home, he called back and said “I have a proposal, how about we get married?”…even though this was over the phone I now had tears of joy in my eyes and my heart was all aflutter, so naturally I said “Yes!”.
We then had to go to our parents and tell them what we wanted to do. After some convincing, everyone agreed and we got married at the city court that week.
However, due to all the rush (and therefore lack of preparation) my husband proposed to me in a disappointing manner. He’s the sweetest man I know, but he isn’t much of a romantic – he’s actually quite clueless when it comes to that stuff. As for me, I’m not usually fussed about grand gestures of love, in fact, they make me a little ill, but I had been dreaming of this moment (with this particular man) and it was a complete let down. I brought it up with him once shortly after we got married – it didn’t end well, we were both in tears and I said I wouldn’t bring it up again…I did, about a month ago, and it ended the same way.
I would have just dropped the whole thing since I’m just happy to be his wife and we’re having a big 3-day Indian wedding in January that I’m trying to plan now, but now my mum is telling me how hurt my dad is that my husband didn’t ask for my hand in marriage!!! So my mum asked me if my husband can write a heart-felt letter to my dad asking for my hand in marriage before we have our actual wedding. Simple enough…or not!
I told my husband what my mum said so that we can get the situation sorted and now my husband is even more hurt because he thinks that my dad and I expect to much from him. Again, he got defensive and was saying “I didn’t know you had to do that! I didn’t know I had to propose to your like everyone else! I don’t know how to do these things” etc. He said he’ll write the letter and I told him thats all I want him to do, he doesn’t need to do the whole proposal over and that I just want him and my dad to have a good relationship.
Does anyone have any other ideas for how he could ask for my hand in marriage? Keep in mind my dad is in Australia while we’re both in the U.S.
To make matters worse, my younger sister just started dating a guy who asked permission from my dad before even asking my sister out. Though there was a good reason for this as he’s 7 years her senior!
Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read and replies to this post. I know its long and convoluted but I really appreciate any feedback on how I can rectify this situation so we can move on with the wedding plans!