Post # 1
This is my 6th cycle ttc… and it is heart breaking (ecspecially when close friends are getting pregnant and by accident) … I am truly saddened each time AF shows her face and today I finally realized how much it is also hurting DH.
It is my window of O and while BDing, my hubby couldn’t finish… he just said the pressure got to him. I do my best not to tell him the details of ttc, he knows I use OPKs and temp but he still tries to remain clueless. We don’t BD as often as we should, even before ttc.. mainly because of crazy schedules and such. However during my O week I really was trying for us to BD 3 -4 times and if I didn’t tell him it was that time, then he would have not wanted to do the deed.
So after tonights “failed” attemp at BD, he got so upset and was so mad that we werent pregnant yet. I was doing my best not to break down and agree with him because i knew I needed to be there for him. My question is how do you ladies keep the romanace alive during ttc when dh knows it that time? (Yes, we have langeria… i send sexy texts during the day… etc) … what else could I do to help him??
Post # 3
I’m really sorry you are going throught this! What works for me is making sure I feel sexy. For me that means going to the gym, having my nails done and being freshly shaven/waxed. My DH knows when I’m just putting on a show for him and it kills his mood, he really wants me to be enjoying myself (and finishing) as much as I want him to enjoy himself (and finish).
Another idea may be to go on a date and not talk about babies. Try to reconnect as a couple, maybe over dinner have a glass of wine, get a couples massage, go to a play/movie (just not one that is about family life or babies), see a comedy show, go bowling-anything that you know you will have fun doing and won’t initiate baby conversation.
Finally, don’t be afraid to share with him your feelings too. My DH didn’t share with me his disappointed in the first TTC cycle so I felt like I was irrationale and over emotional for getting so upset. I would not have gotten upset if I knew I wasn’t alone in the feeling. You are doing this together, having a good cry about it together can be cathartic and act as a pressure release.
Fx that this is your month!!!
Post # 4
@Sbee82: I was actually in a similar situation last cycle, he told me the pressure got to him and wasnt sexy at all for either of us, so this cycle i dediced not to use opks and not tracking my O time at all. It relaxed us both and BD time, when he was around, was fun again for both of us. I am not saying dont do what you do to track your O time, but maybe you can tell your DH that you wont do it and decided to relax for once.
This might relax him too and go back to your fun times.
Also, I agree with PP, try to reconnect with him, go on a date night and forget about TTC, at least for your date.
GL sweet bee and FX for you!!!!
Post # 5
im not TTC yet, but a friend’s advice was if TTC stress starts affecting sex life, try designating the odd night for non-penetrative sexy time. It sounds counter productive – you want a baby yet youre doing non baby making related activities BUT she says its important that sex doesnt become only a ‘means to an end’. Thats when it gets clinical
and dates like pp said…no baby talk allowed