How to reply to "Can I bring a date?"

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

I think in this situation you replied very nice and to the point. This isn’t someone who is a best friend of yours, you invited her because she did you a solid with a cake awhile back. If she chooses not to come because she can’t bring her jerk bf then so be it.

 

Post # 3
Member
613 posts
Busy bee

ladyamalthea:  I think your responce is perfect. Its direct with no underlying tones that the situation could change, and without sounding mean or rude. 

Post # 4
Member
954 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

ladyamalthea:  Your response is perfect. And you’re absolutely not being a bridezilla, I wouldn’t want that guy there either!

Post # 5
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I think your response is perfect too. And i wouldnt worry about N trying to get doucheman to move in quick as you didnt state to her that only those living together etc get a plus one.Your response made it clear its about numbers rather than living arrangements 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think it’s absolutely fine not to invite her SO; basically not to invite any SO that is not lived in/married.  When I first dating my ex long time ago, his buddy specially mentioned to him that I’m not invited to the wedding; however, I’m welcome to join their after party at the hotel where coffee/tea will be serve.  I was fine with it… 

Post # 7
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

ladyamalthea:  You’re reply was fine. But – not inviting someone’s bf isn’t really correct. It’s not a “plus one”, it’s her bf. However, it sounds like you don’t want this girl there anyways.

Post # 9
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think your reply is very nice. I wouldn’t make any changes.

Post # 10
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think you’re handling the situation perfectly. You’re definitely not obligated to invite this girl’s boyfriend because they don’t technically qualify as a social unit. I think you worded your response very well because it doesn’t give any wiggle room for negotiations. If she still tries to press the issue, just stick to your guns and even play the budget card if you must. As long as you’re consistent with how you divvy out plus ones, you’re definitely not breaking etiquette. Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I agree with everyone, you gave the perfect response. 

Post # 13
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee

ladyamalthea:  I think your response is great. No worries.

Post # 15
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Eh, I think you’re being kind of mean.  You obviously don’t give a shit about her, and shouldn’t have invited her in the first place since you don’t care if she comes.  I’m also of the camp that no adult should be invited alone – it’s just not done in my circle.  But honestly – it’s her boyfriend, not some rando.  Just because you don’t like him doesn’t mean he’s not still her bf.

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