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![Ordering dress for sister, need size guidance [Amsale]](http://boards-static.weddingbee.com/images/left-loop-button-on.gif)
sorry, i can't think of a good way to ask for gift cards. do you think you could get your sister to register at home depot or sears? i think they both have registries. usually people go to showers to give gifts, not gift cards. 'home improvement' could be the theme, she might get some useful things and maybe she could exchange the rest.
There's not a way to tactfully request this, I'm looking for some magic answer because my sister will not register (I don't want to go into it- she's a difficult person period) and I can't tell her about the shower because she wouldn't show up (my mom is trying to do something nice for her).
Well, If your sister does not want to register, she might not like the whole gift catd thing. It can be a little off putting to guests to be told what to get. Sometimes word of mouth is better. I have not told anyone about my registry other than close family and they let people know if they ask. Why not just let people know about the situation by word of mouth, but not on invite. Almost every etiquette book says NEVER to include registry information. Who is handling RSVP? That is the person they will probably ask about registry when they call.
You should ask her FI to register for her secretly since he may know what she or they need, or ask him what your theme should be.
@maureen9004: it doesn't sound like she wants a shower. why are you having a shower for her if she doesn't want to go to one?
The shower is not my idea. Frankly, I don't want to do it because I'm not real happy with her at the moment. My mom is legitmately trying to do something nice for her. My sister has been going through something and she's pulling away from everyone and alienating herself. I think this is my mom's attempt to remind her how much she loves her.
I think a suprise shower is really nice. I tried to tell people not to give me showers, but they insisted. I am glad they did because it has given me a chance to see so many friends that I had not seen in a while.
You could have a "Home Improvement " shower. If guests ask, you could suggest gift cards, or work with your mom to develop a list of suggestions from home improvement stores. After the shower she could always return un-needed/unwanted gifts for a credit at the home improvement store.
@julies1949: I'm going to run with this idea and try to make it work- thanks!
@julies1949: I was going to suggest something similar!
Perhaps you and your mom can think of home improvement items she needs and even create a registry at that store under her name. If you pick a store with good return policies she can return everything for store credit or something but then everyone would buy at the same store?!
Maybe her FI can help you know if they need any tools or basic home improvement items.
Its always difficult when a couple won't register. I think a themed shower may help you get around this. The guests should understand if you tell them she hasn't registered. It'll be awkward compared to "normal" situations but at least it gives the guests guidance.
I don't understand why you would host a shower for someone for the sole purpose of getting gift cards. The point of a shower is to "shower the bride with gifts." How incredibly boring to sit there and open up cards with gift cards in them. If your sister doesn't want to register it probably means she doesn't want gifts which means she doesn't want a shower. I would try to steer your mom in another direction. What about hosting a surprise tea party or bridal luncheon? Just an excuse for a party with the girls and have it be nothing to do with gifts/gift cards?
There is no good way. If you 'really hate telling people what to gift' then you have your answer - don't do it, it's rude manners. Let them purchase what they want, if they want to purchase anything at all.
@shaydenise and Pia: The giftcard thing was not my idea and I am NOT for doing this. My post did not ask "Do you think it's okay to do this?" I believe i said something along the lines of "what's a good way to word this" hoping someone would have something cute. Later I mentioned I was looking for a magic answer because there is no easy way of doing.
I am acting under orders of my mother. Again, I do not condone this practice.. My mom simply called and told me to order invitations for a suprise wedding shower. I explained to my mom I thought this was in bad form, but she feels our family is very easy going and most likely will not be offended.
@maureen9004: That would be why I said that I would try to steer you MOM in another direction.
If your sister doesn't know about this, and refuses to register, she's not going to be offend if folks don't know what to get her.
I would second the idea that you send out the invites, and if people ask about what type of gift your sister would like, they you can suggest a home-improvement gift. You won't need to put anything on the invite about it.
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My mom called this morning to inform me we're throwing my sister a suprise wedding shower. My sister obviously doesn't know and refuses to register for the wedding.
She bought her first house a few months ago and her upstairs shower just leaked into the downstairs- it's a mess (and a bit of karma! I mean that in a loving sister way :) My mom wants to put on the invitation that she would like giftcards to home improvement stores.
What's a good way to word this? (I really hate telling people what to gift)