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i really wanted to do a destination wedding, but we weren't able to for cost reasons. But had we, I woudl have told everyone that we were going to hold a reception at home so everyone who couldn't be at the actual wedding could still be a part of it. Is that possible for you? It wouldn't have to be expensive, just a fun eat and drink type congratulations party. Maybe if you did something like that, people wouldn't be so upset that they had to miss your wedding.
In response to that comment, I would say: "Of course I would love for her to come, but this is what we want to do. If she's not able to make it, I would understand and would never hold it against her."
I agree with MrsSl82be, is having a small reception at home for your family and close friends who couldn't make it an option?
I hadn't thought about doing a reception at home. That's not a bad idea!
We're doing a Vegas DW, and the ceremony site only accomodates 34 people... so we are doing a home reception for the folks either not invited or unable to share Vegas with us. :)
I'm dealing with the same thing- our wedding is going to be in Punta Cana. The negative comments I'm getting or more about the Dominican than people being able to go or not, and boy, are they ridiculous!! I've basically been avoiding people- I know that's not the best thing to do, but I can't take it.
We will be having a reception here in Pittsburgh at my FI's parents house 4 or 5 months after the wedding.
We considered it too, but my parents more or less said the money they were contributing was to be used in town or not at all, so it would've been 100% out of pocket to do destination... nixed that idea quick!
What I told my mom though was that there are people we care about spread out all over the States (well, actually for us it's all over the world), and most of them are going to have to travel no matter what, so why shouldn't it be to somewhere beautiful and vacation worthy?
My cousin got married in a tree in Costa Rica. There were four people at her wedding (bride, groom, MOB, FOB). Some family members were upset that she was so "selfish" and I asked them if THEY weren't the selfish ones since the wedding is about the MARRIAGE between two people, and NOT about the family gathering round the cocktail bar. I ticked my aunt off pretty bad with that, but it's true.
The wedding is about you and your FH! Not about a big party. Maybe someone could take that sentiment and make it into a nice way to tell people that? (Since they weren't being catty about MY wedding ((to my face)) but about my cousin's wedding, I didn't have a problem being rude. But since it's YOUR wedding, I think you should find a nicer way to say it...)
@Miss Booboo: I had my DW in PuntaCana and let me tell you: they know how to organize a wedding for you! It was the best choice we ever made. :)
As for the comments, I would simply say: We realize that by having a DW, not everyone will be able to come. However, this is the emplacement of our dreams and we'll be glad to have the ones who can come there with us.
Just be nice but firm. Don't feel guilty - it's your wedding, you're doing it to celebrate your love with your fiancé.
I totally agree with pp...people will ALWAYS have something negative to say...even if you were having it in Chicago! Tell them this is your dream and tough luck...you'll share lots of photos with those who could not make it. People need to remember/realize that the wedding day is about what the Bride/Groom want...period!
Also, if you've given them enough time to plan, then they should get get on it or be quiet...lol..as you can see I'm at my wits in with unruly guests!
Please don't these comments discourage you! I know it's difficult because when comments come from family members, they can be extra hurtful.
But stand your ground. You have good reason for the location you've picked, and a simple, "Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way, but [groom's name] and I are ecstatic about our plans!" should hopefully ward off any naysayers :)
That's tough, b/c it's actually your family who is INVITED to your wedding making these comments. The best response is probably something like "We understand that everyone's situation is different and things change all the time, but this is our dream wedding and we hope most people will be able to make it while respecting our wishes and choices".
For people who comment who AREN"T invited to the wedding, you can look at them with a shocked/concerned expression and say "Oh, but we've already spoken about the destination to everyone we are going to invite!" Meaning: You aren't even invited so butt out.
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Now that I've announced my destination wedding, the (negative) commentary has begun.
Some of my cousins/aunts/uncles etc are making slightly rude comments/questions-disguised-as-comments, like, "don't you want your cousin Sally to be able to come to the wedding?" (Sally's husband is unemployed). The implication is that by my choosing a destination wedding, I am purposefully excluding certain people from attending. I do not feel that is the case. We live in Chicago and the wedding is on the beach in South Carolina. I don't think it's horribly unreasonable to buy airfare to South Carolina and stay one night at a hotel.
I realize it's not as cheap or convenient for guests to attend, but I don't think it's so outrageous that the people who wanted to come couldn't make it work. My sister had local big hoopla traditional wedding a few years ago, and EVERYONE came. It was nice. But that's NOT my style. I always wanted a beach wedding and Chicago has NO OCEAN.