How to respond to "So what do you guys want as a wedding gift?"

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
895 posts
Busy bee

Oh my, that sounds awkward! I hope I don’t run into that! Can you just tell them were you’re registered? And fill up the registries.

 

Post # 4
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My (now) husband “helpfully” suggested that since we’ve been together for a million years and have a large and already very well filled house that I tell people “That’s really kind of you. But actually, we’d like you to come to our house and take something away”!!

What we did in reality was suggest quirky or handmade stuff/tea related gifts/gift cards. We had some truly fantastic gifts as a result and nobody felt obliged to spend a fortune on duplicating stuff we already had.

Personally, and I know this is a issue that can get rather hotly debated, I think that asking for cash is a bit rude. But I also realise that this is not necessarily the case in other countries/cultures.

Post # 5
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I asked someone that question before because she didn’t have a registry. Her answer was, “cash.” We didn’t go to the wedding.

Personally, I think a couple should have enough for everyone on a registry so people can at least get a little something to add to a cash gift.

Post # 7
Member
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2001

You could ask for gift cards for dates (movies and restaurants) and the grocery stores. Somethings practical. Maybe your bridal party or parents could help spread the word so its not so awkward for you. 

Post # 8
Member
8425 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@hartmamp:  We had plenty of items on our registries (amazon, target, the container store), but most of our guests gave cash anyways.  I think wedding guests either have the idea in their head to get you cash no matter what, or a gift no matter what.  For some reason, those that are used to giving gifts just don’t seem to default to cash. 

Post # 10
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@hartmamp:  The problem is that they will go out and pick something. I’ve lived on my own since I was a teenager, so I understand what you’re saying – I already have everything. Then when FI moved in, I had double of everything. However, it is a lot better to pick some extras you like (such as a waffle maker, or coffee maker, just stuff you wouldn’t normally get yourself) than to end up with crap other people pick (such as new dishes with a rooster pattern).

It sounds like you will be getting tons of gifts, and that’s great. But you didn’t register for enough by the sounds of it 😛 Your guests are too generous.

Post # 11
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsPanda99:  why did you ask if you didn’t want an honest answer?

Post # 12
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

We flew 1,200 miles for our wedding. Getting gifts home is going to be a huge pain in the ass. I told people flat up to either ship items to our house or to give us money or gift cards. Nobody listened. I have no idea how we’re going to get this stuff home safely.

ETA: People knew we flew from Oklahoma to have this wedding. So when they asked what I wanted, I gave them honest answers. Everyone knows we live in Oklahoma, we flew to California, it was no big secret. They asked, I told, they didn’t listen anyway, so why bother asking? You’re giving a couple cash in the form of a gift (See: We could just return it and get the cash anyway), so why bother with being upset over a cash request?

@bebero:  +200. Cash is a perfectly acceptable answer. Don’t ask the question if there is a suspicion you won’t like the answer.

Post # 15
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@hartmamp:  I just reply, “we’re registered at Target.” If they find that the registry is all bought out, I guess it’s up to them to give cash or come up with their own gift. 

Post # 16
Member
2534 posts
Sugar bee

I told a few people things like “A unicorn” because I found the question uncomfortable. Haha. However in all seriousness I just said either something from our registry or that we’d love gift cards for our travel agency so we could go on our dream honeymoon 🙂

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