Post # 1
Bees, I knew this was going to happen! Let me give you some backround information first: We are having around a 45 people ceremony (just the bridal party and immediate family) but then inviting an additional 100 people (mostly cousins and a limited amount of friends) to diner. For the dance, we are just going to post a private Facebook invitation to the rest of our friends. We only sent STD’s to the people invited to the ceremony and diner. I sent out my STD a couple weeks ago and a few friends commented on my Facebook wall saying how cute they are. Now, someone not invited to the ceremony or diner commented on one of there posts on my wall saying “WHERE’s MINE :)?” How do you respond to something like this without hurting their feelings or making them feel like they didnt make the friends for diner list?
Post # 3
@Beasha: I don’t know if there is really a way to. Usually if someone isn’t invited to the reception, they’re not invited to any part of the wedding, or at least that’s what etiquette dictates. I think if you explain the budget contraints they might understand.
Post # 4
You private message her or call and say, “I’m sorry, ______, but we are having a small, intimate ceremony and dinner for family. I hope you can still celebrate our special day with us by coming to the dance though!”
If it is a seating issue or something like that, you may add that in. Otheriwse, keep it simple and just say sorry, but its an intimate setting.
Post # 5
Try not to feel bad, they’re the ones being rude by asking for an invite. I would just talk to them privately and tell you simply can’t afford it.
Post # 6
@megz06: That sounds like the perfect answer back. Thanks!
Post # 7
@AlwaysSunny: Thank you. Thats what ill do!
Post # 8
Honestly, I would ignore it. It’s pretty rude to ask for an invite.
However, it’s also rude to have a tiered wedding. It’s like saying they are good enough to come and party with you (and probably bring a gift) but not good enough to actually see you get married or fed. I understand that you want everyone there, but you need to treat everyone equally. People understand that you cannot invite everyone.
Post # 10
Customs are different everywhere, and sometimes you just cannot invite everyone to your wedding. We are having a huge wedding as we both have large families, but we invited everyone to our ceremony, then a supper with just family and close friends, then we invited people just to the dance and around here people understand that you just cannot invite everyone.
Post # 11
@RunsWithBears: +1. If you want mroe people there, have you thought about scaling back on the meal so you can accommodate more of your friends to the ceremony and reception proper?
Post # 12
so you knew your selected invites would casue drama, yet you went ahead and did it anyway?
Sorry not gonna be much help with this one.
Post # 13
I have never heard of someone have a wedding broken up like this. I think it is rude to invite guests to just the dancing part of the reception. I could understand if you wanted an intimate ceremony and they invited more guests to celebrate with you at the reception. Honestly, if I were one of those guests I probably would be offended and not come.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I honestly think there are going to be hurt feelings no matter what you say.
Post # 15
This is very strange. It’s like saying, “You’re good enough to party with but not good enough to actually come to our wedding.” There will be hurt feelings. If I were invited to the party portion only, not even to the reception, I would not come.
Post # 16