(Closed) How to respond when you aren't registered anywhere?

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@LadyMoriarty:  “Thank you for asking but we’re not registered anywhere.” and “We decided that since we’re moving shortly after the wedding it was better to buy everything once we’re settled.”

Post # 5
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@LadyMoriarty:  If they said “you must want money” I’d say “I wouldn’t say no to it!” 🙂

Post # 6
Member
8475 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

To be courteous to your guests, register somewhere. 

Choose a little bit of smaller things that won’t be a pain to lug around. 

Post # 7
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Rubbs:  I completely, utterly, 200% disagree with this. not registering is NOT rude and registering is not NICE in itself.

 

OP, there’s absolutely nOTHING WRONG with saying “we’re not registering cause we’re moving”

 

 

Post # 8
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Rubbs:  I completely 200% agree that one should regsiter somewhere… different people have different views on what type of gifts they get – if it be money or an actual gift.  I myself give gifts for the showers and money for weddings but that doesnt mean other people like to do the same…

Post # 9
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here…

Registering is now the norm… BUT that doesn’t make it a MUST DO

Or Polite / Impolite… to do so.

It is the talking about, advertising, demanding… Gifts, that is impolite period.

The standard reply for a Question about Gifts is “Honest, your Presence, is present enough”

BUT in this situation where someone is asking about a Registry specifically there is nothing wrong with telling the truth… as long as you don’t actually mention the gift aspect…

So saying, “We aren’t registered, cause we will be moving right after the Wedding” … and leaving it at that, is ok (and gives a hint that you don’t need Boxed Gifts)

Also, the old rule of thumb where this type of info should be spread by word of mouth also holds true (because altho YOU cannot talk about gifts doesn’t mean that others cannot when asked… “Where is LadyMoriarty: registered ?” could be answered by your Mom, Bridal Party etc with “They aren’t… they are moving to the East Coast after the Wedding, so truly if you wish to get them something, then cash would probably be best because they’ll need to set up a complete household once there”)

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 10
Member
8475 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@bebero:  Well when people start asking you where you’re registered, hint…hint…they’d like to buy you a gift 😉

Post # 11
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Rubbs:  and you can simply say “we’re not registered anywhere because bla bla” and they will either give you money or mail you a gift once you move.

Post # 12
Member
8475 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@bebero:  Nothing like making it totally sound like you want money 😉

Post # 13
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MexiPino:  this is what we tell anyone who asks. We’re not registered too since our wedding is overseas and we’ll be moving right after the wedding. 

I don’t know how to respond when someone asks if money would be okay instead. Luckily, no one has asked. Honestly, we just really want people to come and have fun. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MexiPino:  @LadyMoriarty:  hah! I think your answers were great! and if you’re not confortable saying “well I woundn’t say no!” I would say “whatever you’re comfortable with!” 

 

@bebero:  agree!

 

People want to give you something you’ll like and use.  I think that saying “We’re not registering bc we’re moving” is perfectly acceptable.  No one wants to think you’re cursing the KitchenAid they bought bc you need yet ANOTHER box for it.  Just explain that you plan on getting your “home” things once you move.

 

Post # 15
Member
1604 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is what’s on my website. I actually honestly don’t even want gifts. Many of my guests are flying all the way across the world (family in China / Australia) to see us and it’s the greatest gift they can give us. FI’s side is very poor so we don’t want them to feel obligated to get us a gift.

 

“Your presence is the best gift we could ask for at our wedding. We will fly out after the wedding back to our tiny apartment in Manhattan. Given that we do not have room for additional things, we have chosen not to have an official wedding registry.”

Post # 16
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LadyMoriarty:  I really don’t know why the gift registry has lasted so long as a wedding tradition in America.

It was fine when most people married at 18 or 20 and didn’t have any worldly goods. Now people are usually older when they marry and already have stuff they are trying to get rid of. These days people have more financial issues.

I give cash for a wedding gift even when there is a registry.

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