How to RSVP to Dad's Mistress' Baby Shower Invite

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

Honestly, if it was me I would do nothing. I don’t think getting invited to any event requires me to send a gift to that person. Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t but I don’t feel obligated. Especially in this situation I think the most neutral thing to do is nothing.

Post # 4
Member
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@soontobemrsemr:  

Wow that is stressful.  Possibly the invite was sent because it would hurt you less to recieve an invitation even when its well known that you couldn’t attend than to find out your were excluded from the shower.

 

If this happened to me now I would send a gift.  My dad also had a new baby when I was 20.  I was in college then and didn’t have a cent to spare so I just sent my congratulations.

Post # 5
Member
7070 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Honestly I probably wouldn’t send anything.

Post # 6
Member
6021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Personally I think all showers should be banned, because I hate any gathering whose sole purpose is to collect gifts, but until that glorious day, the polite thing for you to do would be to send a gift when you decline. Registries are just suggestions— your father and Karen should be buying everything the baby needs, so don’t feel too obligated to pick an expensive item from the registry. Remember that, regardless of your feelings for Karen, this child will be your step-brother or step-sister, so pick something that you would want to give to your future step-sibling, leaving your feelings for Karen out of it.

Post # 7
Member
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wouldn’t be sending a thing, for so, so many reasons.

Post # 8
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

This baby is going to be your half brother or sister… so I think you should be nice for the sake of this person who didn’t ask to be born into these circumstances.  It’s going to be hard enough having a family in turmoil and a 60 year old dad. 

I would send a nice card and then something fun that you would appreciate getting, whether it is on the registry or not.  Maybe a gift card to a “My Pictures” place.  You can get something there for different budgets.

Post # 9
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@soontobemrsemr:  SEND HER A BOX OF CONDOMS.

Yes I am a horrible person, but made you giggle? Yes? Laughing Anyway, I get that the situation sucks. The only thing I can say is that it’s not this baby’s fault for what his mother did, so try to think of it as your father’s baby instead of “her”, the “evil homewrecker” baby. I don’t know about etiquette, but if you don’t at least extend the olive branch your father is going to get an earful from Karen. Be the bigger person here. You can do it. And you have your FI for moral support.

Post # 10
Member
8903 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@sugar_biscuit:  +1 – I’m sure they didn’t want to offend you by not inviting you.

I’d just send a rather bland but congratulatory card and leave it at that.

BTW I totally remember that thread!  Sorry that it came true :/

Post # 11
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

don’t reply when she ask why didn’t u rsvp say u never got an invite

Post # 12
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I’d just send a card.

Post # 13
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

If your dad is important to you and you are trying to keep a positive relationship w/ him do what he would want you to do, for him. I went through similar experiences and I had to swallow my pride a time or two for his sake. I now wish I had done it more because he was my daddy, and I his baby girl and he passed 3 years ago. Maybe talk to him first and see what he wants. I agree, I would want NOTHING to do with that woman but sometimes we do what we have to four our real family, even if that means letting someone in we despise.

Post # 14
Member
5351 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would send a card to keep some level of peace and that is all. 

 

Post # 16
Member
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I would just send a card. If you’re not attending you shouldn’t be obligated to give a gift. But a card would at least acknowledge it, and seem like a show of good faith to your dad.

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