- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
I was wondering if you could give me some advice on the following matter.
So FI has this friend who he’s been friends with for many years. I also know this friend and his girlfriend and the girlfriend’s sister. FI see’s them alot more often than I since they play darts every week together. I’ve sent a wedding invitation to these people and I thought it was a little bit strange that I hadn’t received their RSVP yet. When we first started planning our wedding ,we really wanted to keep the guests list to family, special friends and a few nephews and nieces we are closed to. We couldn’t afford more than 35 people but as the weeks went by, the list grewand this week we decided that was it. No more. We even had a situation where we really felt bad about not inviting one of FI’s niece’s and her husband and kids. But we talked with FI’s sister, that is the mother of the niece, and she perfectly understands our situation and the fact that we aren’t inviting her daughter. She totally gets it and plus we never, ever see this niece but because we had invited FI’s godson and his wife and children and another niece, we felt really bad about not inviting the other niece and her family. Anyways, today FI tells me he saw his friend thursday night. Friend says to FI ” Can my daughter come to your wedding “? FI was taken a little aback and didn’t really know what to say not to be rude to his friend. SO FI ask his friend ; well are you sure you have your daughter the weekend of the wedding. Friend says he’s not sure yet but if does have her, he’d like her to come to the wedding. When FI first told me about all this, my first reaction was grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. First of all I’ve only seen this daughter once in my life. Second of all, we did not even invite some members of our own family cuz at one point we just had to stop for financial reasons and now I just don’t feel it in my heart that I should invite this friend’s daughter. I’ve already done all my party favors, did the seating chart etc etc and although its not like it would cost us 100$ extra to invite this friend’s daughter, its just that I don’t want to spend anymore money that I have too for an extra guest (16 years old) who I don’t really know when I could not even invite my own cousin, for example.
My question to you is: How do I tell this friend that his daughter is not welcomed at our wedding without hurting him or ruining his relationhip with FI. I’m afraid if we say he can’t bring his daughter, this friend, his girlfriend and the sister ‘s girlfriend won’t come to the wedding and that would make me sad cuz I really get along fine with all three of these people.