(Closed) How to say "no" to being a bridesmaid?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This makes me sad. The poor girl probably doesn’t have any friends and you might be one of the only girls she can think to ask.

I’m not saying that you have to be a part of your wedding but it would probably be really special for her.

If you are really against it, just tell her that you would rather not because of everything you have going on with your wedding. You don’t want to commit time to another wedding because you have a lot going on with yours.

Post # 4
365 posts
Helper bee

@dressme3:  just say that you’re really tied up with wedding drama and that you would REAALLLY love to, but you already have a lot on your plate. (even make up a story about your “friend” who is getting married and is a bridezilla and you have do deal with her AND your own wedding)… I would suggest inviting her to your wedding now maybe, that might cause some drama Otherwise…

Post # 5
5966 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@dressme3:  Just tell her as flattered as you are that she thought of you, you just wouldn’t be able to accept at this time…if she can’t take the hint…tell her you have hepatitis…people hate that.

Post # 6
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Nona99:  LOL hepatitis!

I agree with the PP who thinks this is a sad situation, because she probably doesn’t have many people close to her. If you are really against it, I’d definitely say your own wedding is causing a lot of stress, and that you know you wouldn’t be able to dedicate the time (or money) to her special day, but thank her kindly for the offer. 

Post # 7
5007 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would just do it and hope to make a good friend out of it, but if you really don’t want to just tell her that you don’t think you can do a good job right now with everything going on or something.

Post # 8
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d say something like “I’m incredibly touched that you asked, but I’m afraid that I’ll have to decline.  But please feel free to ask me for help if you need, and if I can fit it into my schedule, I’ll be glad to lend a hand, and of course I’d be happy to celebrate with you if you wanted me to come as a guest”

Don’t make the offer of help unless you genuinely would be willing to help her if your schedule allows, and don’t go too far into the details. Any detail you give her is just giving her an opportunity to plead her case.  You dont’ want a debate. Just a polite and heartfelt “thanks, but no thanks” type conversation is all you need. 

Post # 9
8473 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think being asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man is an absolute honor. She’d probably be pretty upset if you declined. Think about how you’d feel if someone said no to you. 

I think you should be a Bridesmaid or Best Man & get to know her some more. She obviously thinks pretty highly of you. 

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