- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
To make a long story short, only one of my bridesmaids lives in town (my cousin). She just got married recently, and I was in her wedding. I need to pick out the bridesmaid dresses, and she has said that she’d go with me. Eight months out from my wedding date was right around the time of hers, so I didn’t want to ask her to go then. I asked two weeks after the honeymoon if she wanted to go look at dresses. She’d share her work schedule with me. I’d try to make appointments, but then she wouldn’t be able to make it. One excuse was (and this was after she said she could go this day) that she had a full day off and she didn’t want to do anything. I can understand that, I have been incredibly busy, but please don’t say it is available and then cancel like that.
We’re now about six months out. She told me about this Saturday two weeks ago. I called and confirmed a time with her, and she said it would have to be later, because she and her Darling Husband were doing some Christmas things. It turns out that the place closes earlier than we thought, so it’s not going to work out.
There is fault on both sides. I should have been firmer with times when originally setting up appointments. These past two months have also been crazy busy, with holidays, unwinding from her wedding. I go back and forth from being understanding to feeling angry…after all, she has scheduled and canceled three times.
Knowing that I have to get this done, I’m just going to go this week. I know that the week before Christmas is crazy, but I’m starting to get stressed that this isn’t going to get done on time. I am off work early one day this week. I don’t want to shut out my cousin from helping, but at the same time, I need to let her know that I can’t wait around for her.
Does anybody have a tactful way to bring this up to her? She’s my cousin and I love her (I wouldn’t have asked her to be in the wedding otherwise), and I know that life has been busy for her. At what point does it cross the line from being understanding and flexible to getting taken advantage of?