How to say you don't WANT KIDS AT THE WEDDING

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
42135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999


Address the invitation to only the aduts.

On the rsvp card indicate  “we have reserved 2 seats in your honor”

At the bottom of the invitation indicate “Adult reception to follow”

Be ready to phone people when they change your numbers on the rsvp card. Do not make any excuses other than “We are sorry but there must have been a misunderstnding. We are not able to accomodate any extra guests. We hope this doesn’t prevent you from attending the wedding, but if it does, we will miss you.”

Post # 4
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - A Beautiful converted Barn

I wrote it on the ‘additional info’ card in my invite – my actual wording on the invite and my wedding website:

“We have decided to make our wedding day and evening celebration an adult only occasion with the exception of babes in arms. We hope that you understand our decision and we hope you will still be able to join us on our special day.”

Post # 5
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Since we’re having a small wedding with few guests that have children we’re just spreading the word right now.  Our guests with children have already said they love the excuse to hire a sitter and have an adults night out.

Post # 6
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

We wrote on our invites “space is tight so we respectfully ask that our wedding day be for adults only” we then on the RSVP said “we have reserved 2 seats in your honour”. We also rang people when we were making the no children decision to let them know. We have a couple not attending due to this but that’s there choice and our choice for no children and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. 

Post # 7
2167 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My cousin had an “adult only affair”. You can address it around that area.

Post # 8
64 posts
Worker bee

Address your invitations to who is actually invited. If someone writes in extra, simply call and say “Oh I am sorry, but the invitation was for you and Bob only, hope you both can make it!” You can also do # seats reserved in your honor.

Most people should get the hint.

Post # 9
791 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I addressed my invites to the  adults in the household, and have a family bringing their two kids.  Gah!!  This is even after I included “An adults-only reception will be held in the…….” on the insert card.  Unfortunately, we’re going to have to call the guest and remind them it’s an adults-only reception.  There just isn’t room for extra guests.  *sigh*

Post # 10
8388 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@TexasTheta90:  I wrote, “this is an eighteen and over affair.”  When parents questioned me about it, I explained that it was a late night wedding with an open bar where I knew my guests were going to drink heavily (not child appropriate).

Post # 11
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@housebee:  How did they respond to being told it wasn’t child-appropriate?

I’m going to shy away from saying that because if you have angry parents the last thing they want to be told by another person is what is or is not appropriate for *their* child.   It seems like that would just add more fuel to the fire.

Post # 12
8388 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@skippydarling:  Oh I told them that if they felt it was appropriate for their child to be there, they could bring them.  However, there were many adult jokes that I wasn’t going to change, so if they wanted to explain to their kid what “just the tip” means or what a “crack whore” was, I had no problem with their child being there.  No one asked to bring their kid, we only made the exception for 2 newborn infants whose parents had to travel.

Post # 13
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We are having an adults-only wedding.  I haven’t sent out invites yet, but I am already prepared for the backlash.  I remember how much fun I had at family weddings when I was younger, but on the flip side, I also remember what a holy terror my cousins and I must have been running around and getting in the way.  These suggestions are helpful.  I like the ‘2 seats reserved in your honor’ on the RSVP.  Very subtle but direct.

Post # 14
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@TexasTheta90: I am not having kids at the weding either and this is what I did

I addressed the invitation to the person/couple invited

Then on the invitation I put the ceremony details and at the bottom I Put

Adult Cocktail and Reception to follow

at six o’clock in the evening

etc etc 

Post # 16
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@TexasTheta90:  This is what my FI and I did: We addressed the invite to the parents.  Used a standard RSVP (none of this “2 seats reserved”).  We wrote a personal note to each couple with children and slipped it into the envelope with the invite.  Each went something like this: “Hi ______, We’re looking forward to celebrating with you in Dec!  We’re sorry that we can’t invite _____ and _____ to our wedding.  We can’t wait to see them for so-n-so’s birthday/Eagle Scout ceremony/family cook-off/whatever!”

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